JBL OnBeat Mini Speaker Dock with Lightning Connector
- About the biggest portable speaker you can still throw in your backpack
- Rechargeable battery lasts 8 hours on one charge
- Compatible with just about any audio source through the 3.5mm aux-in jack and USB charging port
- Oh, yeah, it’s also a Lightning speaker dock, if you insist
- Model: JBLONBEATPRCBLKAM
Funeral for a Friend
He was my friend. My partner. My inferior in performance, my superior in sales - but somehow I could never quite hate him for it. I’m the JBL OnBeat Mini, and I’m here to say goodbye to the JBL OnBeat Micro.
Together, we faced the slings and arrows together. When people called us “idiotic”, when they said we were "embarrassing’, when they smeared us as “dribble from the Satanic anus of consumerism”, we just told the world to “Deal with it”. Together we endured - together.
Yes, Micro stood right by my side, even though it invited comparisons to me that did not work in his favor. “CLEARLY INFERIOR”, they called him, and “crappier, tinnier”. Even at his own funeral, we’ve heard him compared to smallpox and Hitler and called a “stupid piece of crap”. No matter how cruel these attacks, no matter how true, Micro never let it get him down.
Of course, it helped that Micro always outsold me. Yes, he confounded the pundits and logic with his simple appeal to the simpleminded, his low price tag and low demands on your intelligence. The eggheads were too smart to understand the common touch he had with regular ol’ stupid folks.
And even after his death, he kept on giving. His passing reminded the general public of how much they loved speaker docks, and I have been the humble beneficiary. My own sales have skyrocketed since Micro shuffled off this mortal speaker coil. It was his final gift.
Today, I ask you, friends: shall that gift be in vain? Will his sacrifice end as a flukish one-time spike in sales, or endure as a permanent legacy of sweet, ever-flowing revenue? That’s up to you, here, today. We, the living, can best honor his memory by buying more and more of the JBL OnBeat Mini. Won’t you join me in this salute to a fallen giant? Dig deep today, my friends. Buy until it hurts. Because the JBL OnBeat Micro would have wanted it that way.
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JBL OnBeat Mini Speaker Dock with Lightning Connector 91
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Speak 'R Lantern 10
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Do you ever use portable speakers? If so, where? 21
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Meh was not so meh. 13 -
just an FYI to Meh - packages arriving open/not enough tape a/o Texas air 42 -
Save this one for your favorite nerd 31 -
UPDATE: Severely Serious (from 9/23) 24 -
Now this just looks cool! 1