Chill

Reasons why your dog might be feeling anxious

• The cat just walked into the room. (Scary. Cats can be mean.)

• The cat just left the room. (Where’s it going? What’s it doing? Does it want a friend along the way?)

• She just followed the cat out of the room and received a firm swat. (Painful and confusing. Did the cat not see the tail wagging? Still, that’s only 259 offers of friendship rejected. Not enough data to establish the cat’s distaste for her.)

• A criminal walked by the house. (Making matters worse, you waved to them and called them ‘neighbor,’ and they waved back. She will have to be extra vigilant now to make up for your overly trusting manner.)

• Another criminal walked by, this one WALKING A DOG! (Dog is also a criminal, unless the dog would accept her invitation to play.)

• More criminals making their way through the neighborhood. (Some in cars.)

• You listened to a podcast while cleaning, and you skipped the ad for pet insurance. (What if she gets sick? It could result in your–and, in turn, her–financial ruin!)

• You listened to a podcast while cleaning, and you didn’t skip the ad for pet insurance; in fact, you listened very closely. (Oh god, is there some health concern she’s unaware of?!)

• You left the house. (Sad.)

• You came back to the house. (Happy but maybe overwhelming.)

• Criminal squirrel activity detected, and you are not only ignoring it but reprimanding her for her loud pleas to be let out so she might enforce vigilante justice. (This neighborhood is falling apart.)

• There’s no food in her bowl. (So hungry.)

• There’s plenty of food in her bowl. (Sustenance makes her feel jittery.)

• A siren is going off somewhere within six miles of here. (Again, she’s a big fan of justice and must voice her full-throated support.)

• There might be a thunderstorm. (Scary.)

• There might be fireworks. (Even scarier.)

• You are trying to make her wear a shirt to alleviate the stress related to thunder and/or fireworks. (Embarrassing. What do you think she is, a scaredy cat?)

• Your use of the phrase ‘scaredy cat’ caused her to scan the room for the cat. (She cannot see it, which is even scarier and also more exciting than if she could. Because the cat might still be there! So mysterious! Better do a full inspection.)

Ways to make your dog less anxious

• Give her a Zesty Paws calming treat. (Or a Zesty Paws probiotic treat. Or a Zesty Paws allergy relief treat. Sure, those last two might not have the L-Theanine to promote relaxation, but look, treats solve everything.)