Life Gear Auto Emergency Tool LED Flashlight

  • Four light modes: LED flashlight, glow stick, both at once, and flasher
  • Seat belt cutter for fast escape from your car in a perilous situation
  • Window-breaking spike, ditto
  • You're almost 100% sure to never need these, but they're cheap and small enough to be worth it for that "almost"
  • We're raising our quantity limit to 24, so buy a whole case if you've got a lot of stockings to stuff
  • Model: LG403
more specifications

You won't need this (hopefully).

If you do, something has gone horribly, almost impossibly wrong. The odds that you'll need to save your life by cutting through a seatbelt, breaking out a window, or flashing a distress signal to a search party are infinitesimal. We can say "this will not save your life" with the same degree of confidence with which we can say "you will not be killed by a cow today."

And yet, every year 20 or so people are killed by cows in the U.S. alone. A tiny number, given the 300 million people and 40 million cows within our borders. A truly freakish anomaly. So rare it's ridiculous to spend any time worrying about. But we're sure the loved ones of those 20-ish people wish they'd taken some extra precaution, whatever little measure would have kept them from being killed by a cow.

So, even though the odds are heavily against them ever needing it, why not toss a few of these into the stockings dearest to you this season? We'll let you buy up to 24 of them, a full case, at four bucks apiece. You and your loved ones can stash them in every car you all own and, in all likelihood, never think about them again.

Then they're there in case those odds turn against you. In case you need to make a quick exit from a car in danger, or shine a beacon in the night. Statistically, these won't save your life. Just like, statistically, cows are no danger to humans.

So far today...

  • 59125 of you visited.
  • 42% on a phone, 5% on a tablet.
  • We sold 3521 of these.
  • 4545 clicked meh.
  • That's $15313 total.
  • 98.28% of you didn't bite.

Who's buying this crap?

no one everyone