How?

There’s a phenomenon I like to describe as ‘new character in a 90s sitcom’ syndrome.

If you weren’t alive (or watching TV) in the 1990s, allow me to explain: in the pre-prestige-television era, shows took a much more haphazard approach to continuity. Key set pieces would change, or one actor would be subbed out for another, but most glaring would be when the writers or producers would decide they needed to add a new character. Instead of offering some origin story, they would often just drop one in, Poochie-style. One episode, there might be three core characters. In the next, there’d be a fourth, and everyone would just pretend they’d always been there.

In day-to-day life, ‘new character in a 90s sitcom’ syndrome can take on a variety of forms. Your coworker, who you thought had no children, turns out not only to be a parent, but somehow everyone else in your office has met their kid multiple times. Or you watch some movie you’ve never heard of that came out six years ago on streaming, but when you recommend it to your friend, you learn that it was a major blockbuster and, furthermore, had inspired a heated online discourse in the exact corners of the internet you often lurk.

I bring all this up because I’m experiencing the food version of this right now.

Not only do I love a good snack bar, I also went through a phase not long ago where I started consuming a lot of ‘protein’ products. They made for good breakfast replacements, I found. So when I saw ‘Raw Rev Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate and Sea Salt Protein Bars’ on the sales calendar and had never heard of the brand before, I figured we’d acquired the dregs of some fly-by-night operation.

And then I went to their Amazon page and learned they have a rating of 4.2 based on over 1,400 reviews.

WTF?!

I decided to read a few reviews and see if they might provide some evidence for how I’d missed these.

User MissCat05 said:

These bars are amazing! I can’t believe how naturally low in sugar they are yet they taste like a delicious dessert without any artificial sweeteners or sugar alcohols. Add to that they are full of healthy fats like omega 3s, they each have a good amount of clean plant protein, they are full of lots of raw ingredients which is a huge plus, and they each have a whopping 13 grams of fiber! I adore the texture!

This only confounded me more, because that’s exactly the kind of thing I love: something that tastes like a dessert without being loaded with bullshit. Also, I am a friend to all cats, but did not know that they apparently love these things?

Kayla C, in a very long review, reiterated MissCat05’s assertions:

The Raw Rev Peanut Butter Dark Chocolate & Sea Salt Protein Bars are a fantastic option for anyone seeking a healthy, plant-based protein bar with indulgent flavors.

So how had I never heard of them until now?

I was starting to grow frantic in my disorientation when I stumbled upon this, in a review from Kathryn C:

These are my most favorite bars, hands down, ever! I only discovered them like 6 months ago at a smaller well known natural grocery store but I think they stopped carrying them. So sad. Thankfully I found them here and I wanted to say please don’t ever change anything about these perfect, perfect bars!!

And there you have it: these are likely sold primarily at the sorts of bougie ‘natural’ grocery stores I avoid because I don’t want to buy apples for six dollars a piece.

Suddenly, it all makes sense.

Phew.