So Fresh, So clean

What Can They Wipe?

Your Face

Yes, these are totally fine for wiping your face.

Your Hands

Yes, but they likely should not be used as a replacement for actually washing your hands. Still, in a pinch (when, say, you’re having a picnic or on a hike or somewhere else away from working plumbing and your hands get a little sticky from eating watermelon) they’ll be great.

Your Butt

Per the specs: “Layer Eight Wipes provide a quick and refreshing clean for both your body and face anytime you need it.” And technically your butt is part of your body. This would point to yes. Additionally, some of them (the unscented ones) are flushable, implying they’re to be used in the bathroom. So we’re going to say: probably. (The scented ones, to be clear, are not flushable. But that makes sense. You don’t want to wipe your butt with something overly fragrant; it would draw too much attention and make people wonder, what did this butt smell like before they wiped it with those perfumed wipes?)

Your Browser History

No, but maybe you could wipe off your laptop screen with one? And if your screen looks super clean, maybe people will be like, “Someone with such a tidy computer certainly wouldn’t do any inappropriate searches!” Maybe?

The Smug Look Off Carl’s Face

On the one hand, that phrase (“Wipe that smug look off your face”) does not generally involve literal wiping of any kind. On the other hand, if you approach Carl with a kind smile and then, when you’re within reach, thrust a damp wipe into his face, we do feel fairly certain his expression will change.

The Murder Weapon

Hmm, maybe? The product does go out of its way to say that it’s “designed to be soft on skin.” It doesn’t say anything about knives or blunt objects. But it is, at the end of the day, a wipe. Still, if you’re going to commit a heinous crime, and you plan to use a product from Meh in the process, you probably haven’t thought this through. So save everyone a lot of time and misery and just turn yourself in.