96oz Ground Assorted Flavored Coffee or 126 Count Flavored Single Serve Coffee
- We got an 8-pack of 12oz bags of coffee from Harry & David & Kahlua
- Or we have 126 coffee pods from Harry & David
- We’re talking a ton of coffee in a variety of different flavors
- Model: 8R3W-L00K1N-4T-M3
Who Are You?
MORNING YOU: Hi. I’m you at 6am.
AFTERNOON YOU: And I’m you at about 2 in the afternoon.
MORNING YOU: We got together today because we wanted to talk to you about something.
AFTERNOON YOU: You see, while the two of us have a lot in common…
MORNING YOU: Like, say, all of our DNA.
AFTERNOON YOU: …we also have our differences.
MORNING YOU: For example, I’m just emerging from the fog of sleep into the pre-dawn hours, moving through our house with about as much poise and dexterity as a baby bird. I need coffee, lots of it. Preferably a whole big pot, as that will allow me to continually top off my mug as I prepare for the day, thus hiding from myself the excessive–and let’s be honest, potentially dangerous–amount of caffeine I’m consuming. So I would like you to buy the 8-pack of 12oz bags offered today.
AFTERNOON YOU: Me, on the other hand? I’m about to hit the old wall-o-afternoon-exhaustion built out of lunch-induced lethargy, work-related stress, and general existential dread. If I put a pot of coffee on, I’m going to rocket straight past the end of the workday all the way to no-sleeps-ville, thus ensuring the wall-o-afternoon-exhaustion I hit tomorrow is even taller and more daunting. And that just won’t do! No sir! I need a quick, easy-to-brew pick-me-up that’ll get me to five with my eyes open and then let me down easy into the numbness of another weeknight. So I’ld like you to buy the 126-pack of pods.
MORNING YOU: But while this may seem like an impasse, don’t worry! There’s an easy solution!
AFTERNOON YOU: You just order one of each option!
MORNING YOU: Simple, right? Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to hit the snooze button, because in my current state, I actually believe eight more minutes of sleep will make all the difference in the world.
AFTERNOON YOU: And I need to put off replying to this email by watching one funny Youtube video that will inevitably become ten funny Youtube videos.
MORNING YOU: We’ll see you around!
AFTERNOON YOU: Like, in the mirror. Because we’re you.
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broadcast March 17th IRK Reveal Thread 568
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96oz Ground Assorted Flavored Coffee or 126 Count Flavored Single Serve Coffee 22
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Chicken on the Mic: "He's Fine" 1
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When's your caffeine cutoff? 20
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Blame the scary dolls? 14 -
Revenge-based public health policy. 1 -
The Zaggs in the Walls: A Zagg-rathon compilation (also all 54 Meh buttons in a GIF) 0 -
18 powerbanks... 36 -
IRKs of Yore...or Yesteryear or whatever 17