Onkyo 5.1.2-Channel Dolby Atmos Speaker System

  • We say this without reservation: This is a good deal
  • The speakers are Dolby Atmos-enabled but even if you don’t have an Atmos receiver they’re a good deal
  • Includes 2-way bass reflex center speaker, acoustic-suspension surround speakers, and a 120W 10" subwoofer
  • It’s a good deal
  • Model: SKS-HT594 (The SKS was the Russian predecessor to the AK-47 and HT means “Hat Tip” in internet parlance, so … huh)
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OnkYo! Meh Raps

We try to treat you, the customers, like friends. That’s pretty much the extent of our marketing strategy, and its simplicity often makes decisions easy. When we’re selling something that sucks, we try to tell you. When it has limited applications or quirks, we try to point them out.

We have a harder time, however, with good deals like this one. On the one hand, we would wholeheartedly recommend these speakers to a friend who was interested:

“You’re not going to find a better 5.1 speaker system at this price,” we’d tell our friend, “and you’d have to pay a lot more for a system that was noticeably better. In other words, if you’re looking to spend anywhere between about $150 to $600 on speakers, this is probably the best value you’re going to find, even if you don’t have an Atmos-ready receiver.”

“Also …” we’d continue, through furrowed brow, “that all assumes you already own a receiver or are planning to buy one. If you don’t know what that means, start here.”

On the other hand, we feel a bit dirty recommending products so unreservedly to you, our customers. Suddenly we seem like infomercial hucksters, guaranteeing that you won’t find a better price anywhere, guaranteed. But … it’s true.

This “treating customers like friends” approach sounds so simple, but many dangers lurk. In emails to our (IRL) friends, for example, we make ample use of emoji and slang expressions such as “yo.” But if we sent you an email with the subject line, “Yo [Your Name], we think you should buy these Onkyo speakers ” we would sound like the douchiest of online marketing douches. Even writing “douchiest” sounds a bit forced, even though it’s a word we would certainly use with friends.

Also, we expect some of our more — how to say — invested users to complain that we’re selling yet another Atmos product. But we haven’t sold anything Atmos in like 6 months! If you were our IRL friends we’d tell you to f%&* off for complaining (and we wouldn’t use grawlixes), but the buyer/seller relationship doesn’t allow that. At least, not directly

Putting that aside: This is a good deal. If you have a receiver (Atmos-ready or not) and are looking for some speakers, we recommend that you … god this is hard … buy this.

There, we did it. Now if you’ll excuse us, we’re going to take a shower.

And you bought...

  • 163 of these.
  • There’s still some left.
  • That’s $32501 total.

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