4-Pack: Hydralyte Electrolyte Hydration Tablets (80 Total)
Our Take
- Loaded with electrolytes to help you rehydrate fast
- Orange flavor
- You get 80 tablets total (40 servings)
- No association with the Paul family
- Can it make a margarita: It can maybe make you feel better the day after a margarita
More Than Water
It’s me. The sun. And, well, I wanted to talk to you about something.
You see, I’ve been going to therapy, and I realized I’m kind of a toxic friend.
In February, I hang in the sky, generously lighting up the gray landscape, beckoning to you to come out. And so you do… only to realize the temperature is in the single digits. The cold stings, and you retreat.
Or else I reflect off the snow, transforming a winter wonderland into a blinding expanse that makes driving difficult.
But why begin with my trickery in the cold months? After all, I am at my worst during the summer.
I don’t simply coax you out; I keep you outside. And while you think the two of us are having a great time, I am secretly burning you. It’s not gaslighting. It’s UV-lighting.
Moreover, as my rays beat down on you, I cause you to sweat. Not only does this ruin clothing and cause your skin to become sticky, but it also leaves you feeling depleted.
And realizing these things, I feel terrible. Truly, I do.
So what do I plan to do about this? Exactly what many others do in the year 2026: post an apology on the internet, leading all to think that I’m trying to be better myself despite the fact that, behind the scenes, I’m doing absolutely nothing to change.
If anything, I’m only getting worse!
But here’s the other thing I learned during my rigorous self-investigation: some of this falls on you. The fact that we continue to hang out even though I’m constantly burning you or causing you to sweat profusely? That says a lot about me, but it also says something about you, too.
You need to take care of yourself, is what I’m saying. Get some sunscreen for the burning issue, and load up on these hydration tablets for when jogging or playing softball in my shine leaves you feeling woozy.
Now, if you don’t mind, I ought to be going. I gotta make your yard grow. Me and your yard, now there’s a friendship to aspire to! We get along great. As long as it rains, at least. If it doesn’t, I will burn all the grass to a crisp.
Jeez, I really kinda suck, don’t I?