JBL OnBeat Micro Speaker Dock with Lightning Connector
- Compatible with these Lightning devices: iPhone 5S, 5C, 5, 5th Gen iPod Touch, 7th Gen iPod Nano, and by complete accident, iPhone 6 and 6 Plus
- You should really spend a little more for the superior JBL OnBeat Mini the next time we sell it
- If you insist on buying a speaker dock at all, that is
10,000 JBL OnBeat Micro fans CAN be wrong.
There are two closely related speaker docks that we pimp hard around here. Today’s, the JBL OnBeat Micro, is the inferior one. The dock is only compatible with Lightning-connector iPhones and iPods. And you wouldn’t want to aux-in to the little speakers, either. They suck.
So you should just wait for the next time we sell the superior JBL OnBeat Mini (which we are not offering today) and buy that instead. OK, cool.
Wait, why are you still reading this? You’re not thinking about buying this today, are you?
No. You wouldn’t. Not when there’s a better option coming soon. Sure, the Mini is a little more expensive. But it can dock any Lightning device, from iPhones and iPods to iPad mini and iPad air. Even if you don’t use the stupid dock, because it’s stupid to have to put your stupid phone on a stupid stand and not be able to stupid use it for anything stupid else, it sounds good enough to make a pretty decent portable speaker for any other audio source. So the only logical choice is to buy that instead of today’s cruddy little JBL OnBeat Micro.
And yet, you’re still here. You’re still thinking about it. Why? Why do you people prefer the inferior Micro to the superior Mini? WHY? Just because it’s cheaper? It’s not cheaper to buy something that’s so shitty you don’t use it! It would be “cheaper” to buy children’s shoes than adult shoes, if you don’t care whether they actually fit your feet!
Look, just, just turn back now. We haven’t charged you anything yet. You can still back out of this, no harm done, and just wait a little while for the better one. OK? OK? Make sense?
Oh, God. You’re going to do it, aren’t you? You’re actually going to buy this! Like 10,000 poor deluded saps before you, you’re going to buy this CLEARLY INFERIOR speaker dock! STOP! STOP! WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU? WHAT IS WRONG WITH THIS WORLD?!?
