Hooray! Random pieces of old junk!

Shopkeepers offering a grab-bag of goodies to celebrate the new year dates back to the late Meiji period, which sounds like a super long time ago. And to prove it, here's a lame deal that won't make us any money. Just remember: like the fukubukuro, the fukobukuro may be a “lucky bag”, but not all luck is good.

And even if your bag does contain something technically valuable, it’ll probably be a huge pain in the ass. WARNING: IT’S NOT THAT SIMPLE. A vote for optimism. A gesture of hope. Whatever happens next is not our fault.

Or you’re trying to be a good hip citizen and ride your bike to the office, but your greasy chain pops off.

But today is one of the specialest occasions in Meh’s short, apathetic life. You’d just as soon microwave all your meals at 7-11 anyway. Gaze into our liquid crystal ball... For an other another, most of the stuff won’t be all that good, putting it more in line with the burgeoning counter-tradition of the unlucky bag.

It’s not some awful Chris Farley movie. You'd just as soon microwave all your meals at 7-11 anyway. Are you aware that the United States is a distant second, at best, in global #fukobukuro production? What will you do, free people? Will you fight… or will you run?

Then it’ll be the people of the future’s problem. Because otherwise we might die!

How will you know what happened? Al Capone was right. (We're even impressed by their copywriting.) We're working on adding that functionality to our site.

Spank it! Hear it cry! That’ll teach you suckers to trust us with your mailing address!