BioBidet Good/Better/Best Bidet Bonzana
- Your choice of 3 different devices that spray water on your butt
- The A3 is the cheapest and doesn’t do much except spray water on your butt
- The BBC-270 connects to your hot water tap so it can spray warm water on your butt
- The UB-4800 has everything: heated seat, oscillating spray mode, adjustable nozzle, pre-heated water, and kid’s mode (for, we imagine stopping your kids from spraying water on their butts)
- You’ve gotta ask yourself one question: How much do you want to spend to spray water on your butt?
- Model: A3, BBC-270, UB-4800 (We just mentioned these model numbers repeatedly above and probably didn’t need to repeat them again here, but you know what they say about old habits: They spray water on your butt.)
It's All Relative
Take your pick of these 3 butt-spraying, hygiene-enhancing contraptions. The “good” one (A3) rinses your backside without bells or whistles, the “better” one (BBC-270) features a warm-water hookup for a less-startling sensation, and the “best” one (UB-4800) makes you feel like royalty.
Pooping royalty.
The whole “good,” “better,” “best” distinction is a bit of marketing trickery that we’re reluctant to use. Sure, the A3 is “good” but compared to the others it’s the “worst.” So if we’re being fully transparent we should probably tell you to take your pick between the “worst” “middling” and “best” option.
On the other hand, “best” is relative. The seat-warming, remote-controlled, wireless-touch UB-4800 is objectively “best” in terms of the experience it provides, but is it “best” in terms of value? That all depends on how much you value your toilet time. And your money.
We talked about a similar concept only yesterday when we coined the “Law Of Developing Returns” and suggested that the cheapest option (in that case, headphones) often provides the best value and is therefore “best.” So we’re in danger of hypocrisy by calling today’s most expensive option the “best” one.
Maybe we should flip it around and call the cheapest one the “best” and the most expensive one the “worst.” No, that’s a terrible idea.
Maybe we shouldn’t place any value judgements on the options whatsoever and let you decide which one is “best” for you. The customer is always right, after all. And we don’t want to make you feel bad for choosing to buy something other than the “best” way to cleanse your posterior.
Yes, the “best” option is the one you choose. Though it would be “best” for us if you chose the one we’re calling the “best" and “best” for your wallet if you chose the “good” one and “best" for your anus to choose the “better” one if it is sensitive to cold — and really, whose isn’t?
How’s this: Choose between the cheapest one, the one that costs a little more and has warm water, or the expensive one that will turn your bathroom into a Japanese garden of delights.
That’s the best way to describe the choice. Or at least, it’s a “good” way to do it though we’re sure there’s a “better” way to put it …
