Don't Get Used To It

On September 13th, user @djslack offered up a list of potential things we could sell, including “some kind of interesting jerky type product.” And so here we are selling delicious Wicked Cutz jerky!

Now, we need to make two things clear:

First, this is some pretty classy jerky. Therefore, the price tag isn’t going to be exactly in line with the Slim Jim that you buy on a whim as you check out at the grocery store, only to open it in your car and for the noxious smell to make you regret your decision, although not enough to stop you from eating it. Hypothetically speaking. Point is: this is good jerky and good jerky costs money.

Second, and more importantly: we need to make something EXCEEDINGLY clear. We saw @djslack’s suggestion and considered it, but the decision to sell the jerky ultimately came down to us and us alone. In fact, there’s a chance that we subconsciously were thinking about selling jerky and so @djslack didn’t exactly give us the idea as much as surface it.

What we’re saying is: we’re not necessarily in the business of outsourcing our product selection. As in, we don’t do requests. As in, don’t get used to this, okay? Because this is it. The party ends here.

We say this because ever since we sold some toothbrushes as a joke–that’s right, it was a joke! A joke ON YOU!–we know there have been rumblings on the forums about something you’d like us to sell. That’s how obstinate we are, people: we won’t even name the item. We won’t even write the word. Because we are unmovable.

We’re like a brick wall. People always tell us that. They say, “Talking to you all is like talking to a brick wall.” Which we take as a compliment concerning our strength. And also our attractiveness, given that brick is a very beautiful building material. In certain cases, at least. Maybe not in some of the suburban architecture of the mid-fifties. But then again, those homes have a certain nostalgic beauty in a way. There’s a pure American warmth to them, isn’t there?

What were we talking about? Right: how we’re not a bunch of pushovers, and you can’t boss us around and tell us what to sell! So enjoy your jerky, all 24 hours of it, because when the clock strikes midnight and the sale resets, returning things to normalcy, you’ll see just how firm in our convictions we are!