One Weird Trick To Save Your Relationship

Dr. Kate: Now why don’t you tell me, your own words, what brings you two here today.

Melinda: Well, most of the time it’s great, but I feel like when we have a disagreement, he deals with it by just dismissing and invalidating how I feel.

Russell: That makes no sense. You’re completely missing the problem.

Dr. Kate: And what do you think the problem is, Russell?

Russell: She hates good TV shows and likes shitty TV shows. That’s it.

Melinda: Uh, excuse me! We just have different tastes!

Russell: But whose taste winds up winning? When I want to watch Arrow and you want to watch The Goldbergs, what do we watch?

Melinda: You like The Goldbergs!

Russell: I do not.

Melinda: You laughed a couple times. Anyway that’s what a DVR is for.

Russell: It’s not the same! All of my friends have seen it by then!

Melinda: Oh yeah? Well, two words: football season.

Russell: Hey, that’s only, sixteen Sundays out of the year. Or, like, eighteen Sundays. OK, with playoffs and preseason, like, twenty-four Sundays. What else are you watching on Sunday afternoon?

Melinda: And Sunday night? And Monday night? And Thursday night? And then there’s college football -

Dr. Kate: If I may, I think the real question here is, do you want to stay together?

Russell: Yeah.

Melinda: Of course.

Russell: We’re not here for the aquarium in the waiting room. Although it is a really nice aquarium.

Dr. Kate: Thank you. Are you both willing to do the work it takes to stay together?

Russell: I think so.

Melinda: Totally.

Dr. Kate: OK, then. If you’re serious - you need a second TV.

Russell: What?

Melinda: Hmm.

Dr. Kate: That’s right. Nothing fancy or expensive. Just another TV so one of you can go off and watch what you want.

Russell: That’s not really the kind of advice we came to a couples counselor for…

Melinda: We’ll do it.

Dr. Kate: Good. I know where you can get a pretty nice 32" one cheap. Set it up in the bedroom, the spare room, even the kitchen if you’ve got a big enough kitchen. Just don’t try to use the crappy streaming apps and you two will be fine.

Russell: Uh, OK… thanks…?

Dr. Kate: Oh, one more thing.

Melinda: What is it, doctor?

Dr. Kate: When you buy the TV, you should sign up for that VMP thing. Five bucks a month to ship all your Meh orders. Plus check out these cool socks.