VMP Sneak Peek: Slash Commands (Part 9)

@carl669 Sorry, the /buy command is currently only available to Mediocre employee accounts. Apply today.

@mediocrebot quiet you.

@mediocrebot I can’t bring myself to apply because I don’t want to pay sales tax.

@carl669 Did you ask your boss? She/he may disagree.

@Ignorant

By the time one gets to the topic page and makes this post, I imagine the fuku/fuko would be sold out anyways.

@FroodyFrog not on April Fools. This is why I asked. Thanks

@Ignorant good question. @mediocrebot is a bot and can’t place your order if we have enabled CAPTCHA. If you try you’re going to see a “You can’t buy this if you’re a robot” error message.

@shawn ahhh good point. Question answered. Thanks Shawn

@Ignorant /buy --quantity 42 – color unicorn

@carl669 You probably deserved it.

@carl669 at least it said “sorry”

Said I didn’t think I’d use it. Did it anyway. It was fun!

@Barney @shawn If you are and employee and a kickstarter and a VMP and the Goat, what badge do you get by your name?

@DMlivezey You’d get the Goat badge, because that’s the rarest badge (unless you’re @snapster, in which case it would up in the air).

@dashcloud did i just hear you suggest @snapster should be next month’s goat just to see what would happen when we hovered over his goat badge?

@dashcloud @carl669 If @snapster became goat, I think that the octopus would still rank above the goat badge.

@DMlivezey I don’t believe employees qualify to be the goat.

@dashcloud oh man, you’ve broken the code, i really am @snapster in disguise, didn’t you know the goat was not supposed to reveal the

/giphy big secret

@DMlivezey
/giphy what’s the goat?

@chacham ask @dashcloud and

 ____________________________
< check his logo/icon thingy >
 ----------------------------
   \
    \
      _____   _________
     /     \_/         |
    |                 ||
    |                 ||
   |    ###\  /###   | |
   |     0  \/  0    | |
  /|                 | |
 / |        <        |\ \
| /|                 | | |
| |     \_______/   |  | |
| |                 | / /
/||                 /|||
   ----------------|
        | |    | |
        ***    ***
       /___\  /___\

@dashcloud What’s the goat?

@chacham If you’re referring to my icon, it’s for Scapegoat of the Month.
It’s a proud Meh tradition where people nominate a fellow Mehrican for the position, and then the winner(/loser) gets blamed for everything that happens that month.
More details here:
https://meh.com/forum/topics/scapegoats-of-meh
https://meh.com/forum/topics/scapegoat-of-the-month–a-brief-history

@dashcloud Thanx. That what i needed to see.

@shawn

Out of curiosity, is there any reason why this wouldn’t have been considered ready enough for VMP users to begin with?

@FruityFraug it worked well in our dev environment but I just wanted to be a little more cautious with it when I deployed it to the website.

It’s one thing to look up silly GIFs based on search terms and another to charge people’s credit cards.

@Barney correct.

@medz it should, but I’ll admit that’s one of the things I did not test.

@shawn You mean it makes a difference which thread you’re in? So that /buy command only works if I’m in the product thread and no other thread?

@cengland0 …/buy in the current deal’s topic purchases today’s deal using your default payment setting. Not demonstrated here, but currently implemented, are arguments for --quantity 2 or --coupon MYCODEHERE or --color purple if the deal contains multiple items…

from above, like above in this thread (not from heaven or skies, etc.)

@cengland0 @medz @DMlivezey I failed to mention the whole reason to make /buy work from the deal’s topic is to support VMP Last Call. Otherwise, we couldn’t be sure which deal you’re targeting.

@awk you should have patented the idea, just think of the royalties you are missing out on

/image royalty

@awk they are usually tied to the account I think, but I guess there could be generic ones too. Good question, carry on.

@awk I guess we could hide coupon codes. Or we could just remove the coupon code part of this feature and if you have a coupon code you can just use the normal checkout form.

@DMlivezey I mean, like, just use the cancel button on your orders page.

@shawn well i was thinking since you are making it way easier (and cooler) to order, you might also consider making it way easier to cancel, otherwise you might get too many orders, wait…

 ________________
(  sinister plot )
 ----------------
   o         __------~~-,
    o      ,'            ,
          /               \
         /                :
        |                  '
        |                  |
        |                  |
         |   _--           |
         _| =-.     .-.   ||
         o|/o/       _.   |
         /  ~          \ |
       (____@)  ___~    |
          |_===~~~.`    |
       _______.--~     |
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              __/-___-- -__
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how about if the cancel feature even works for the next couple days after ordering, for those times when buyer’s remorse sets in late, or orders placed late in the night are forgotten?

i’m not saying i’ve needed this feature in the past, just that some of the other aMeh.ricans would probably like it.

@thismyusername you’re up there

@thismyusername Perhaps @shawn will pipe in if I’m wrong, but /me seems more complicated than the rest of these in that the rest of these commands have hooks that do something, and then return output to the standard message parser. I think /me would ideally replace the ‘said’ line, something like

…which I believe falls outside the realm of the mehdown parser.

@thismyusername Mehdown is open source, anyone can add /me. I was going to but I honestly cant think of what /me would do to the text

@MrGlass duh…, put asterisks around it and italicize it…

• thismyusername wonders where you all have been for the last 30 years *

*Thinks this might be doable*

@brhfl I like the idea… would look very cool that way.

@OldCatLady Well? I am not seeing…

@speediedelivery Can’t. Way too much, for here.

@cinoclav My assumption is that the feature is for the times you have decided not to buy, or are undecided about buying. As you read down through the product thread, you find information that makes you decide you do want the item and that is when it becomes a shortcut to use the /buy command.

The benefit to meh is that your order shows up in the thread, thus reinforcing the notion that trusted and respected (?) mehmbers are purchasing the item.

@cinoclav And it gives you the cute little gif of your order number so that you don’t have to take the extra 30 seconds to look for one.

@cinoclav
/giphy Some people just don’t get it.

@cinoclav because it is possible, but it is not required, next they need to get retina readers so i can just blink like

/giphy i dream of jeanie

@Barney As if the page loads don’t take long enough at this point with all the gifs.

@username

@chacham good question. to prevent possible confusion, @mediocrebot only listens for the initial comment added and ignores any edits.

@shawn Okay. I’ll /buy that.

/youtube mufasa mufasa

@DMlivezey Sorry, I’m not sure what you’re trying to buy. Make sure you’re posting in today’s deal topic.

Good job @mediocrebot!
Sorry you are having to work overtime.

@FroodyFrog I am trying to instill confidence in @mediocrebot in taking on this new endeavor.

@FroodyFrog @barney yea, people around the Meh.ffice are already starting to talk about it

/giphy robot romance

@DMlivezey Hmm…

@DMlivezey

I may buy one of those boxes. I have a gift card balance sitting in a secondary account which I’m looking to get rid of, and my GC balance matches up perfectly.

@djslack I think they should test that out with some nice new shirts.