Time to go upscale.

When was the last time you bought a new scale? Been a while, maybe? It would make sense. Your grandma probably had the same scale since the Eisenhower administration, when everybody thought healthy eating meant three steaks a day. The only “feature” it had was how you could jump on it and watch that wheel spin up to 300 pounds.

But there’s probably something you don’t know: “fancy scale” is the new “regular scale”. Measurements like body fat, muscle mass, hydration, and bone mass aren’t just for ruby-encrusted, mink-lined Robin Leach scales anymore. They’re all pretty standard middle-tier features now.

That’s squarely where this Escali Body Analysis Scale sits. It’s a regular Joe scale that can also store four user profiles and automatically detect which user has just climbed aboard. It turns on and off when you step on and off of it. It understands that weight only, uh, weighs one dimension of fitness. Do you need all those numbers? We don’t know. But hey, if you take that many measurements, you’re bound to find at least one that you’ve improved every day. Score!

If it’s been a few years since you bought a scale, your scale has been sliding down the scale (haha) of scales. The Escali Body Analysis Scale, with its multidimensional automated statistical muscle, is pretty typical for a middle-of-the-road scale these days. Of course, since we’re selling it, you can get it at a found-by-the-side-of-the-road price.