Dad, we just need some space.

It used to be that Dads were these distant, occasional presences in the life of the family. It was considered perfectly within Dad’s rights to stay late at work (or “work”, at some happy hour near the office), go out any night of the week to the bowling league or VFW Hall, spend countless hours in his workshop tinkering away at projects that he never quite finished, or watch 16 hours of sports on TV every weekend - all without a word to the Mrs. or anyone else. Some Dads are still like that, only maybe substitute video games for the workshop and trivia nights for bowling.

Now, though, it’s mostly different. Dads are much more likely to be equal partners in raising the kids, around just as often as Mom, maybe even more if he can work from home. There he is, always there, making awful jokes, getting into mortifying arguments with service-industry workers, delivering obnoxious political pronouncements, and making everybody listen to one Springsteen album after another. Even Human Touch.

Yes, we all see much more of Dad these days. Maybe a little too much.

Fortunately, there’s still golf. Golf is the perfect excuse to get Dad out of the house for hours at a time. These 15-packs of Slazenger Raw Distance Spin Golf Balls will give the rest of the family the only thing they want for Father’s Day: some long, blissfully Dad-free afternoons. And hey, if Mom is the one who’s a little hard to take, ladies play golf, too.

We’re glad you’re such a big part of your kids’ lives, Dad of today. Your kids need you. They need to know you’ll always be there for them. Now get the hell out of here for a little while, will you?