Vermont American Tool Bundle
- The perfect barely adequate gift for your barely adequate father
- Includes 9-piece and 23-piece screwdriver sets, hex key set, jab saw, 3-piece retrieval set, and faint air of missed opportunities
- Focus on petty maintenance and construction busywork instead of your feelings and relationships
- Model: 012121, 012122, 012599, 014511, 013476
Happy Father's Day to my not-especially-great Dad.
Here you go, Dad. For that time you sent me to school with two limes and half a stick of butter for lunch… for that afternoon I spent waiting for you in the car outside the casino while you tried to win enough to fill up the tank… for that night you wouldn’t tuck me in because “you’re six years old, you know how a blanket works”… I hereby satisfy my social obligation with a Father’s Day gift of these Vermont American tools.
Like you, Dad, they’re better than nothing. Barely. Just barely. The 23-piece screwdriver set, hex key set, and jab saw will all meet the minimally required performance standards of their role, an approach you should be very familiar with. Like your parenting, they will stay just on the right side of legally actionable. These Vermont American tools will provide the hardware equivalent of making sure your child doesn’t die. Within reason, anyway.
The best about these tools is that they exist, and they haven’t run off with the lady at the 7-11 where they buy their smokes even though they daydream about it all the time. They’re roughly adequate enough to help the home handyman do whatever he wants, which is what you’ve always done anyway. Just don’t expect them to do the slightest thing to make you happy and you won’t be disappointed, Dad. That’s one lesson you taught me all too well.
