Hmm, a lot of dead dads, emotionally unavailable dads, or just alcoholic dads? Of course, these categories have a lot of overlap (in this very room!)....
@RedOak Died when I was 8 in a collision with a semi. Best part of having your world torn apart is having to explain this to people every year after year around fathers' day when they ask if I gave him a call.
@jaypeeh I should add that after 22 years since that day, it's no longer that painful to tell people "he passed", but what makes it awkward is me knowing that I'm making the person who asked feel like an asshole for having brought it up. Maybe I'll just lie from now on!
@RedOak Mine died less than a month ago, on April 21st. I still have a stepfather who is suffering severely from Parkinsons Disease. This is going to be a difficult Father's Day.
@cinoclav I know that situation well - my father died two July 3rds ago. Nothing like the 4th to pop the memories back to the front. It was Parkinson's. Tough disease. Not the slow onset form like MJ Fox. My sympathies for your step father, your family, and his care providers, especially if they're one in the same.
@RedOak Thank you. My mother is his primary caregiver, though she does have help come in on weekdays. At 72 she's still quite vital and runs a business where she's usually at during the week. At this point I think it's an escape for her. My stepfather has declined rather drastically in the last 1-2 years and I can't imagine he won't need to be in an assisted living facility within the next year or two at the most. My father was dealing with recurring aspiration pneumonia since last August. He fell on April 15th and broke his C2 vertebrae. The only option would have been a neck brace and a feeding tube. His living will forbid the feeding tube or other mechanical devices. We had no choice but to send him to hospice on the 19th and let the pneumonia take over. He was gone a day and half later. Such a sad, distressing way to go but he did it his way. I'm truly sorry for your loss (as well as everyone else here who has experienced the same). As difficult as it is, I hope some of those fireworks cause you to look up at the sky and remember he's watching over you.
@cinoclav thank you. We know he was ready - never would have wanted it to go as long as it did if he had been in control near the end. Both my parents refused to get pneumonia shots - I don't recall exactly their phrase - but it is something like pneumonia is a blessing if most of the joy of life has left your body. Your mother will benefit greatly from support, both physical and emotional. And we found the hospice folks to be angels - truly an amazing match to their roles.
My dad passed on when I was 5 (heart failure/attack thing), so yeah... didn't really get much opportunity. I was there next to him when the medical team got there, asking him to wake up. I've discovered I'm not fond of watching the Lion King.
He gets mad if I spend money on him. He'll return or give it away. Years ago his garden hose had tons or patches on it so I bought a new one for him. 5 years later I needed a new one and he gave it back to me. Now I buy him snack food or beer.
Mine died a week and a half after last Father's Day of a really nasty brain disease... After surviving Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a pulmonary embolism and twice broken arm that required surgery and got infected so it had to have surgery AGAIN... Really took a lot to take him down... Making Cholesterol Delight and trying to convince my family to eat it with me. (12 eggs scrambled, 1/2 pound Bacon/Sausage, bag of Cheddar Cheese) Deliciously unhealthy. Though I may just scale it down...
The last Father's Day gift I bought my dad was a copper beryllium putter that I purchased 25 years ago. He died 6 weeks after I gave it to him, having never had a chance to use it on green. He would have died 3 weeks before Father's Day had I not went into heroic mode and brought him back from the verge of a uremic coma (but that's another rant that delves into a host of ethics issues and a bunch of feelings of guilt/confusion).
I'm not sure of the reasoning but somehow the putter got put in the casket with him before he was entombed. I have considered exhumation to recover it, but cost-benefit ratio isn't justified.
Thanks a whole fucking bunch for causing me to think about this shit.
I spend several hours with him.
Why is there a Father's Day poll on here over a month before Father's Day?
Just wondering...
@curtise shameless tool sale hucksterism.
@curtise Because it takes that long for anything ordered here to arrive, ofc.
Hmm, a lot of dead dads, emotionally unavailable dads, or just alcoholic dads? Of course, these categories have a lot of overlap (in this very room!)....
"Nothing, for reasons too sad to be addressed in a stupid Meh poll"
Leading by a long shot at this point . . .
Sub-pole curiosity: what portion of that answer is due to our fathers having died?
@RedOak Many, myself included. We fill the void with cheap meh crap
@RedOak Count my answer among those in the Dead Dad Club.
@RedOak Died when I was 8 in a collision with a semi. Best part of having your world torn apart is having to explain this to people every year after year around fathers' day when they ask if I gave him a call.
@jaypeeh I should add that after 22 years since that day, it's no longer that painful to tell people "he passed", but what makes it awkward is me knowing that I'm making the person who asked feel like an asshole for having brought it up. Maybe I'll just lie from now on!
@RedOak Mine died less than a month ago, on April 21st. I still have a stepfather who is suffering severely from Parkinsons Disease. This is going to be a difficult Father's Day.
@cinoclav I know that situation well - my father died two July 3rds ago. Nothing like the 4th to pop the memories back to the front. It was Parkinson's. Tough disease. Not the slow onset form like MJ Fox. My sympathies for your step father, your family, and his care providers, especially if they're one in the same.
@RedOak Thank you. My mother is his primary caregiver, though she does have help come in on weekdays. At 72 she's still quite vital and runs a business where she's usually at during the week. At this point I think it's an escape for her. My stepfather has declined rather drastically in the last 1-2 years and I can't imagine he won't need to be in an assisted living facility within the next year or two at the most. My father was dealing with recurring aspiration pneumonia since last August. He fell on April 15th and broke his C2 vertebrae. The only option would have been a neck brace and a feeding tube. His living will forbid the feeding tube or other mechanical devices. We had no choice but to send him to hospice on the 19th and let the pneumonia take over. He was gone a day and half later. Such a sad, distressing way to go but he did it his way. I'm truly sorry for your loss (as well as everyone else here who has experienced the same). As difficult as it is, I hope some of those fireworks cause you to look up at the sky and remember he's watching over you.
@cinoclav thank you. We know he was ready - never would have wanted it to go as long as it did if he had been in control near the end. Both my parents refused to get pneumonia shots - I don't recall exactly their phrase - but it is something like pneumonia is a blessing if most of the joy of life has left your body. Your mother will benefit greatly from support, both physical and emotional. And we found the hospice folks to be angels - truly an amazing match to their roles.
My dad passed on when I was 5 (heart failure/attack thing), so yeah... didn't really get much opportunity. I was there next to him when the medical team got there, asking him to wake up. I've discovered I'm not fond of watching the Lion King.
I say you he dead
A few somber minutes at his resting place.
My dad is hard to buy for. So I just give him money.
My dad passed last year and my hubby's dad passed 6 years back so add 2 more into the Dead Dads club.
He gets mad if I spend money on him. He'll return or give it away. Years ago his garden hose had tons or patches on it so I bought a new one for him. 5 years later I needed a new one and he gave it back to me. Now I buy him snack food or beer.
@StrangerDanger As a dad, I can affirm that consumables are awesome dad gifts.
Nothing. Because Hallmark Holidays suck.
Mine died a week and a half after last Father's Day of a really nasty brain disease... After surviving Myelodysplastic Syndrome, a pulmonary embolism and twice broken arm that required surgery and got infected so it had to have surgery AGAIN... Really took a lot to take him down...
Making Cholesterol Delight and trying to convince my family to eat it with me. (12 eggs scrambled, 1/2 pound Bacon/Sausage, bag of Cheddar Cheese) Deliciously unhealthy. Though I may just scale it down...
@kiya46107 Do you wash is down with a cafe breve?
@kiya46107 12 eggs commands at least a couple of pounds of bacon and another couple of sausage. Stop skimping.
It's funny thinking back to how I used to buy Dad stuff that I knew I could use, too.
The last Father's Day gift I bought my dad was a copper beryllium putter that I purchased 25 years ago. He died 6 weeks after I gave it to him, having never had a chance to use it on green. He would have died 3 weeks before Father's Day had I not went into heroic mode and brought him back from the verge of a uremic coma (but that's another rant that delves into a host of ethics issues and a bunch of feelings of guilt/confusion).
I'm not sure of the reasoning but somehow the putter got put in the casket with him before he was entombed. I have considered exhumation to recover it, but cost-benefit ratio isn't justified.
Thanks a whole fucking bunch for causing me to think about this shit.