Too late It’s over

Saturday Toy Bundle

A motley assortment of childish amusements
Whoa, there’s even a FIDGET SPINNER in here, it’s like a time capsule, taking us back to 2017
Get it for the child in your life, or for yourself
Like if you’re a child at heart, or maybe just an actual child who somehow got hold of a credit card
Model: KNDRPRPPR

see more product specs

Wouldn’t You Like To Be a Prepper Too

Maybe you’re one of those smug city-dwellers who looks down his or her nose at “preppers”, with their apocalyptic paranoia, and their misplaced fear of a changing world, and their irrationality in the face of it, and their unwarranted confidence in their own untested grit, and their essential misanthropy, and jeeze, reading this back, maybe I’m one of those smug city-dwellers too.

But we’re all laying plans for future emergencies; we just don’t share an actuarial sense of which emergencies most warrant preparation.

Do you have jumper cables in your vehicle? You’re a prepper. Funding a retirement account? Prepper.

Here’s a highly-likely, if low-stakes, “disaster” scenario for which your home can be cheaply and easily made ready: Kids needing gifts.

“Nah,” you say, “I don’t have kids” or “mine are grown”, or “I’m the creepy old lady at the end of the street who yells at schoolchildren not to cross her lawn on the way to and from the school bus stop, who is rumored to be an actual witch.”

And sure, it might be unlikely that your orbit intersects with that of a young family, even as the result of a new-neighbor welcome party, or an ad-hoc Thanksgiving dinner, or a Home Alone situation (you’d be Old Man Marley).

But it’s a whole lot likelier than total societal collapse. And way less expensive to get ready for. Spend fifteen bucks, make a little space in the back of a cupboard, and you’re set, possibly forever.

Remember playing for hours at your grandparents’ house with, like, a cast-iron mechanical bank? Making the little doggie jump a nickle through a hoop and into the coin slot over and over? It was fine, because it was the kid-friendliest novelty in the whole house. But you would have killed for The Inhuman Squishy Zombie right about then.

Be prepared. A kid might thank you someday.

Or not, kids these days have no manners at all.