The headphones that say the opposite of what Beats say.

It’s easy to beat up (LMAO) on Beats. So we’ll keep doing it. They’re great at shouting to everyone around you “HEY Y’ALL CHECK OUT MY HIGH-CONTRAST COLOR SCHEME AND BIG LOGO ALL UP IN YOUR FACE!”

These Panasonic Bluetooth Headphones, on the other hand, know that if you’ve really got it, you don’t need to flaunt it. Their single green stripe elegantly whispers “I could blow your freaking mind. But I don’t have to bother.”

It’s the difference between a tacky Russian mobster tracksuit with Yves Saint-Laurent logos plastered all over it, and an Yves Saint-Laurent business suit. They’re both expensive, but only one is classy.

While Beats are blaring “YEP THAT’S RIGHT HEADPHONE$$$ LOOK AT 'EM RIGHT HERE ON MY HEAD!”, these Panasonics murmur “The person wearing these headphones has a fine eye for subtle detail and a fine ear for quality.”

“Also,” it continues, “I’ve got dual wired/wireless capability. And I can go for 30 hours of listening time between charges, instead of the 10-15 hours of typical Bluetooth headphones.”

Yeah, cool, are you finished now? “Not yet,” the Panasonic Bluetooth Headphones continue. “We haven’t talked sound quality. Deep bass is essential, but it’s a cheap trick to blast the bass so that, to the untrained ear, the first impression is ‘whoa, listen to all that bass, these must be awesome headphones’ even though the mids and highs are drowned in the mud. I go for a more balanced, articulate sound rather than slathering bass indiscriminately all over everything.”

Well, it turns out these Panasonic Bluetooth Headphones have quite a bit to say. “Oh, hey, one more thing. I also do this quick connect thing where you can just touch me to NFC-enabled Android devices for instant wireless pairing.”

Great, great, so anyway, our point here i- "If there’s one thing that drives me nuts, it’s this bullshit where these newjacks think a logo can replace decades of quality. I’m Panasonic, for crying out loud. And what it does it tell you that Beats’s parent company, Apple, barely even puts a visible logo on their newest product, the Apple Watch?

“Swear to God, if I hear one more little snot say that Beats are ‘high-end headphones,’ I don’t know what I’ll-” OK, OK, so the Panasonic Bluetooth Headphones get testy when they feel they’re being unfairly disrespected. Who wouldn’t?

The important thing is that their tasteful logo and unostentatious design stand in stark contrast to the hey-look-at-me-please-WHY-AREN’T-YOU-LOOKING-AT-ME whine of certain other headphones. Yes, Beats, now we’re looking at you.