The tablet nobody in particular is talking about.

No, we don’t know when the new Kindle Fire is coming out. So stop asking us. Uh, not that anybody has.

Ever notice how nobody cares about Kindle rumors? How there are no blogs devoted to insider Kindle gossip? If you leave an iPad prototype in a bar, look for it on Gizmodo. If you leave a Kindle Fire prototype in a bar, look for it in the lost-and-found bin behind the bar. Don’t worry. It’ll still be there.

Maybe Amazon’s just not working on a new Kindle Fire (yeah, right). Maybe they’re just really good at keeping secrets (even though they never have been before). Or maybe nobody cares because we already know exactly what Jeff Bezos is going to say when he rolls out the next Fire: “Faster than ever and with a couple of new features inspired by our Fire Phone, the Kindle Fire XXXX is our fastest, most feature-rich, most Fire-Phone-like Kindle Fire ever.”

It’ll be incrementally better than this Kindle Fire HDX we’re selling today. And it’ll probably cost $229 (you know, so Amazon can say it’s the “same price” as their artificially maintained price for the HDX). Most of us will be willing to settle for this one’s 323 PPI display, 2.2GHz processor, 16GB capacity, usual vast selection of apps, and built-in Prime Instant Video and Kindle functionality. So we’ll shrug at the new one and move on to the latest Mac rumors.

And you know what? That’s fine. It’s OK to just be a tablet that does stuff. Not every gadget should be surrounded by a worldwide cult prostrating themselves before its radiance. Maybe not any gadget should be.