The Mehliad

Chapter 60 (Read this whole crazy thing here.)
Continuing the tale of young Dan Fogelberg (no not that one), who fell asleep in a storm and woke in a fantastical, creepy land. Beyond that, your guess is as good as ours.

I caught up with my mentor, the man who’d left me all those years ago in a roadside bathroom, over many nights of feasting and storytelling. We told him about our journey, the friends we’d made and the friends we’d lost. The people we’d seen, and the wide range of colorful characters inhabiting Monolito.

(He told us a ton of awesome shit, too. Which is kind of a shame because I’m writing this under a really tight deadline and he’s notoriously difficult to pin down via email to get him to approve stuff whenever I try to put words in his mouth, so you’ll just have to trust me that all your favorite old Snapster-isms were in full effect. Go ahead and imagine your own, too. He doesn’t mind. If someone with talent wants to take the time, go ahead and make a Snapster-email-generator app that pairs a random drug/alcohol brand/reference with a sexual euphemism and combines it with either 69, 420, or some combination of xxX or something. Then end with an @ and a really serious/prestigious company name. You’ll probably make a million bucks.)

He stopped me at the mention of Monolito, though.

“You know Dan,” he said wistfully as he took a massive bong rip sighed peacefully, “Monolito isn’t the true name for this place. I was pulled through the same portal that brought you here, but because time is convoluted I was stranded much longer before you arrived.”

“Should I go back and point that out because people will poke holes in the story when I-”

“Nah, don’t sweat it,” he said, “But the actual name of this magical realm is Xorriyadda.”

“What does Xorriyadda mean?”

“I won’t say, because it’s more fun for someone to go choose a search engine to find the answer and post it in the forums so they can feel smart.”

“Choose a search engine? Why not just Goo-”

“Ah! No. Here in Xorriyadda we’re a bit anti-corporate-monolith. Sure, people can use that particular search engine if they so choose. But they’re free to choose any other, and encouraged to choose one that won’t be inclined to prioritize results from places it already owns or gets ad money from.”

“Does Xorriyadda mean ‘pedantic’ in Russian?”

“No. And wrong language. But funny! We’re building something here, Dan. What it will eventually be, no one knows, which is why I’m having trouble landing investors, but I want you to be a part of it.”

“I don’t have any-”

“Not as an investor. As a partner. And a friend. You and that weird little dude with all the CDs could find a home here, if you want.”

“Well, Aoelh?” I called out to my friend, “What do you think of Xorriyadda?”

The small man turned to us, a beautiful lake shimmering in the fading twilight behind him, and opened his mouth to speak.

“Meh.”