Batteries don't have to be rechargeable when you have this many.

The only thing better than the rechargeable Li-ion battery we lionized here yesterday is a bucket of regular old AA alkalines. Where the groundbreaking Li-ion battery improved your life by making all kinds of sweeping changes possible, a bottomless stash of AAs improves your life by keeping you from ever worrying about batteries ever again. It’s an open question which one makes you happier.

Let me tell you a story. It’s about a kid who had a 30-45 minute bus ride to high school every day. He also rode the bus everywhere else. He never went anywhere without his Walkman. And he was very lazy, so he worked as little as possible, sometimes not at all. So he never had any money. After his daily Taco Bell bean burritos (which were only 59 cents at the time so he could literally buy lunch with the change under the couch cushions), sometimes his batteries would run out and he didn’t have $2.49 for a four-pack of new ones. He would listen to the cassettes slowly wind down, their sweet voices drowned and sleepy, until the batteries finally died. Then he’d ride the bus in silence, alone, without the musical company of the millionaire junkies and perverts who were his only true friends.

Against all odds, that kid grew up to have a reasonably rewarding career writing dirty jokes for disreputable online junk shops. Now he listens to his jams on a fancy Microsoft Zune, like an uptown gentleman. But the trauma of those dead-battery bus rides scarred him so deeply that he still, to this day, cannot resist buying assloads of cheap AAs whenever he sees them. He’s like an old person who grew up during the Depression, except about AA batteries instead of baloney.

Whoever you are, even in the midst of the Li-ion revolution, you still have a lot of AA devices. The simple, carefree ability to just grab another AA out of the bucket whenever you need one: that’s one thing Li-ion batteries can’t do.