This One? That One? Or THOSE ONES?

You can choose to purchase a shirt displaying The Process of how coffee gets made, or one showing only The Dream of every coffee lover–a system for the imbibing of copious amounts of caffeine without reprieve. Thus, there are two options, right?

Wrong. That is the point of these sales we often do on Screenprint Sundays; we want to give you the illusion of choice, when there really is none. There is only one correct shirt purchase: both of them.

Imagine having only “The Dream” and walking into a coffee shop. You’re just begging to get a lecture from the disapproving barista. “Sure you enjoy coffee,” he or she would say. “But have you any idea how much hard work goes into making it? Of course you don’t. It is a very complex and time consuming ordeal. But you care only about the ends, while nary a thought passes through your mind about the means! So yes, I will make you the cappuccino you ordered, but I will approach the task with as much of an open mind as you have approached the art of coffee production. Which is to say, not a very open mind at all.”

Or, conversely, Imagine being in a rush while wearing “The Process” and having the same barista ask you to please stand in the corner for the duration of his or her shift, so that if questions arise concerning the coffee plant and the roasting process you can serve as a visual aid.

Alright, this is really NOT a great illustration of why you need both shirts. And if a barista ever speaks to you that way, or makes you stand around all morning, you should probably find a new coffee place.

Really, the best reason to buy both shirts is to confuse your friends. “Wait,” they’ll say, “I thought you wore that shirt yesterday. But I don’t remember all the… stuff on it? I thought it was just a guy, and there he is up at the top, but… I’m confused.”

And you’ll put your arm on their shoulder and say, “Friend, you sound tired. How about we get a cup of coffee?”

And isn’t that what it’s all about, in the end? No? This still doesn’t make any sense, you say?

Look, buddy, give us a break, okay? we haven’t had our coffee yet today.