Because a perpetual chocolate fountain isn't practical.

Who says extravagance is only for the rich? OK, you probably can’t afford a solid gold couch or a pack of tame Siberian foxes. You probably don’t have room for a fur-lined batting cage or a human-scale reproduction of the first level of Super Mario Bros. But you can have a literal taste of that Robin Leach lifestyle every morning.

Just keep a coffeemaker next to your bed.

Program this Capresso to wake you up to the aroma of brewing coffee. Reach over and pour yourself a cup. You’ll start every day in your own real-life episode of Cribs. For extra luxury-hotel ambience, fill the carafe in your bathroom sink.

Or maybe you’re one of those types who have their first cup at the office. You’re not going to drink whatever blueberry hazelnut decaf crap those people like. You’re not going to worry about how long it’s been since any part of the communal coffee machine has known the gentle touch of dish detergent. You’re going to have your own coffee machine at your desk, like the player you are.

Or keep two in your kitchen: one programmed for mornings, another programmed to serve up a hot shot of joe right when you come home at night. Or rig up some kind of power converter in your car and brew coffee on the way to work. Or wheel around a generator and never not be brewing coffee. It’s your coffee world. The rest of us are just smelling it.

Pity the poor saps who consider an additional coffeemaker “unnecessary.” What grim, austere lives they must lead. And what a difference an extra $20 coffeemaker can make to how high one rolls.

Or maybe you just need one coffeemaker, in which case here it is. You’re really missing out on the whole self-indulgent decadence thing, though.