Your uncle's never too old to party.

You don’t share musical taste. You don’t like the same movies. Maybe you cheer for the same teams, but your favorite players are always his least favorite. And God knows you don’t agree on politics.

But he’ll always be your uncle.

Think back to a simpler time, when none of that stuff mattered. When he was the coolest guy you ever met. When it was all about GI Joes and bottle rockets and feathered roach clips. That poster in his bedroom was the first place you saw Poison - and the first time you learned they weren’t women.

Now you only share one enthusiasm: alcohol.

Maybe that’s enough. It doesn’t matter that you’re sipping the pumpkin clove oatmeal coffee stout and he’s pounding Michelob Ultra in those weird metal bottles. It all hits the kidneys the same. And none of it is any good for your driving ability.

But good luck telling him that. You can’t just tell him anything. You gotta lay the groundwork early. It starts with your gift to him, something he’d never buy himself but will get a lot of use out of right away: this Keychain Breathalyzer.

It’s kind of a piece of junk, a gag gift, not good for much except passing around between drinks to see if you can move the needle (actually an LCD display). And that’s what you’ll do all through your family Christmas drinking session.

Then, as it winds down, take a look after your uncle’s final puff. It doesn’t matter much what the result is. If you even have to consult a breathalyzer, you shouldn’t be driving. Whatever the number is, tell your uncle “ooh, you can lose your license for that”, and that the Uber ride home is on you.

You might have to explain what Uber is. And this moment of uncle-nephew bonding won’t spare you his next Facebook diatribe. But at least he’ll be around to post it.