A Meh-rathon Murder Mystery!

Eccentric billionaire steam mop mogul Dallas McAllen has been murdered! And in his own home, no less, while a great party raged on. With 30 suspects and clues galore (some helpful, others less so) only Sadie Dufresne–an Inspector of the Royal Knights order (shorthand: IRK), one of the highest ranking detectives in all the land–can be trusted to solve the mystery. But she’ll need your help. So, what do you say? Will you help IRK Dufresne crack the case?

Sitting with the former bowler, Hal Dempling, IRK Sadie Dufresne clears her throat and begins her questioning, but Hal cuts her off before she so much as gets through the first question–where were you at 12:04am, the time of the murder?

“Dallas McAllen was a friend of mine,” Hal says. “He was the only one who stuck by me after my catastrophic career-ending injury. During those years–when I was still knocking the pins–I was surrounded by some of the most beautiful and thrilling people in the world. But then, the ball stopped rolling and the phone stopped ringing. And now, with Dallas gone, I find myself completely alone.”

IRK Dufresne gives him a moment while he softly weeps.

Once he composes himself again, Hal Dempling says, “The way I see it, I need to know you’re the best before I trust you. I need to know you can solve the mystery of what happened to my friend. And so, to verify your mental fortitude and problem-solving ability, before I answer any questions, I will need you to solve the riddle of the three monkeys.”

Dempling lays out the facts: three monkeys in a zoo exhibit are found dead. One is missing its eyes, the other missing its tongue, the other missing its thumbs. The autopsy shows two have eaten bananas; the other’s stomach is empty of all but a ticket stub.

“So,” Hal Dempling says, “what happened to the three monkeys?” Then he stands to leave. “Think about it. When you’ve figured it out, then I’ll talk.”