Too late It’s over

2-for-Tuesday: SaberLight Rechargeable Plasma Beam Lighters

You get two of these futuristic marvels: carry tomorrow around in your pockets!
Burn things with a beam of plasma, just like your favorite galactic rebels
Screw butane, to hell with matches: these recharge via USB for about 300 bursts of superscientific wonderflame for every one-hour charge
Windproof, splashproof, and supposedly airport-approved although as always, it’s up to the TSA agent unless you want to argue and miss your flight
Model: no model number (make up your own! nothing is true! everything is permitted! cobras and mongooses living together! etc.!)

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Burning Things With Plasma

How often do you get to do something you’ve never done before? How often is that something visually cool, even literally pyrotechnic? And how often does it cost you as little as twenty-two bucks?

Here’s that chance. You can burn things with plasma.

Plasma beam weapons are some sci-fi shit, except this one’s real. Light sabers are “pure plasma bound in a containment field”; this lighter is a plasma beam bound in your freaking pocket.

Hotter than fire. Realer than Star Wars. Rechargeable via USB. Twenty-two bucks for the pair. That doesn’t sound like fun to you? Do you hate enjoying yourself? What happened to make you this way?

OK, you’re not going to be hacking through any Imperial Stormtrooper phalanxes with this. You’ll use it to do mundane things like lighting candles or burning kindling. But you’ll be doing it with plasma. It’s not this lighter’s fault that reality just can’t live up to our imaginations.

You won’t just be the person with the lighter. You’ll be the person who burns things with plasma. If your imagination and curiosity and sense of wonder are intact, that will be more than enough.

2-for-Tuesday: SaberLight Rechargeable Plasma Beam Lighters

Burning Things With Plasma

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