It'll Be There For You

TO: List:FRWF-Group-All
FROM: Martin Glossin
SUBJ: Refresher

Hello all,

After the first two weeks of our Friends Reading & Writing Friends group, I thought it best to circle back with a brief reminder of our core tenets to ensure we are ALL getting the most out of the project. So, here goes:

• Every other week, we will meet to discuss the script of a single Friends episode.

• On these weeks, we will drink Pedroncelli Friends Red Wine. The reason for this selection is because its spiced aromas of blackberry and cherry, along with its rich flavors of red cherries, black plum, and lightly toasted oak accents, provide the perfect medley upon the palate to stimulate discussion. That the wine’s name (Friends Red) sounds remarkably like our goal (to read Friends) is merely a COINCIDENCE. So please stop mentioning how clever it is. This is not a JOKE. It is a SERIOUS ENDEAVOR.

• We will discuss the specific wording of certain blocking directions, so we WILL know who actually READ the script and who just WATCHED the episode. (Carol.)

• If our discussion warrants reading aloud, do NOT attempt an impression of the character’s voice. We are conducting a radical exploration of friendship, not another hollow act of nostalgia. (Plus, I’m sorry, Mark, but your Chandler Bing is NOT as good as you think it is.)

• On alternate weeks, we will meet to write the episode of Friends we discussed the week before.

• On these weeks, we will have Pedroncelli Friends White Wine, a light, crisp blend with mild acidity. Once again, the similarities between the name (Friends White) and task (write Friends) are merely happenstance, and should therefore NOT be commented upon. The passion fruit, floral notes of roses, and honey spice on the nose, along with the flavors of tropical fruit, honey, and light grassiness, are the optimal combination to loosen one’s memory. That is the ONLY reason this wine has been chosen.

• Note that the last bullet point emphasizes MEMORY rather than CREATIVITY. That is because we are trying to write the EXACT episode of Friends from the week prior. The purpose is distinctly NOT to insert our own jokes. (Ashley.) (Also, Derrick, the parallel between this and the Jorge Luis Borges story “Pierre Menard, Author of the Quixote” has been drawn. There’s NO REASON to mention it more than once. You studied Latin American literature in college. WE. KNOW.)

• Given that there are 236 episodes, and we have already done the first one, that means we are two weeks into a 472-week project. So if you have any conflicts in the next 470 weeks, please let me know NOW, and we will reschedule accordingly. Also, I have already booked the community room in my condo for the next meeting and allotted the appropriate amount of wine, so it is too late to claim you’re “not sure” if you’ll make it. (Jane, Bill, Mark, Ashley, Derrick, Greg, Carol, and Delia.)

But remember, we are not just reading and writing Friends. We are FRIENDS who are reading and writing Friends. And friends don’t get mad at each other. Which means you can’t be mad at me for any of this.

Looking forward to our next meeting!

Best,
Martin