A goat for all seasons (April 2024 scapegoat blame thread)

@xobzoo You could have nominated someone else, yanno. It’s been done. (Not that it necessarily works, you understand.)

@xobzoo

equal-opportunity utensilizer

I like that!

@werehatrack I suppose I could’ve tried that, but where would that get me? Is there some variation of the Streisand effect where the more you try to convince others to vote for someone else, the more they want to vote for you?
(besides, I’d have to think up a candidate before I could nominate them…)

@werehatrack @xobzoo also if it works it only delays the inevitable.

@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack @xobzoo it’s more a… Review of the threads and… "Ok I realize I said xyz that got me attention but xxx said pdq… So. You know. Mehbe them? "

If attempting to divert. But it will always come back eventually. It is after all a form of compliment.

If you really think about it it’s a literal request that we’d like to hear more.

And you’re always able to not say anything. A couple have. But. If you’ve engaged… Anything can be interesting

@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack @xobzoo

also if it works it only delays the inevitable

That is so true. I had about a 2 year delay doing that though. And then, despite posting my death certificated signed with forged meh signatures, I got goated some years back.

@Kidsandliz @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack I guess there’s not actual escape as the scapegoat.

@xobzoo Welcome to the club, kid. There’s nothing you can do about it now.

@xobzoo But just so that you can quit whining, I found this for you: “Idiots Guide to being a Goat” — it sounds like you probably need it.

You’ll be glad to know that you are officially not responsible for deaths, pandemics, wars, or the results of non-Meh elections.

I’ll take the blame for missing out on the mehrathon. I made sure it scheduled it was scheduled at the least expected time, so that no one could plan their travel around it.

/8ball should @Kidsandliz be sad to miss out on the latest mehrathon?
You may rely on it

There we have it. The 8 Ball has spoken. I hope you arrive in Houston safely, despite whatever reasons you have for going there.

@Kidsandliz May the procedure be an unqualified success.

@werehatrack Now the waiting begins for the results (3-5 working days - ugh). Hurts way more than I thought it would or I was told it would. Not a happy camper over that. At least I am not going to have to be the one behind the wheel driving 8+ hours back home since my friend is going to stay a while for a visit. Haven’t seen her since 2008 when her family and mine went on a camping trip to Yellowstone and surrounding areas. Kids had a blast then (and found an intact deer skeleton on a hike which thrilled them) and so did we.

@Kidsandliz Not knowing how it will come out can be rougher than getting the results. I just hope this isn’t going to cause you to have to turn around and drive right back in the middle of next week.

@werehatrack Yes that is so true. I got a mychart message notification. I was excited with some anticipatory dread. It turned out to be just the description of what they did. They did 3 cores in my hip (told me they were only doing one - don’t know why they did 3 as no one talked to me afterwards and I only found out about three from the mychart message) using a drill bit core thing about 1/8 of an inch in diameter. Not sure I should have looked up the diameter in inches of that gauge. Hip is killing me. And they lied and said Tylenol was going to be enough pain med. That doesn’t touch it. I am not sure why medicine thinks limited to no pain control is the way to go these days; just tough it out. Cripes you are not going to become an addict with a couple of days of pain meds so there is adequate pain control.

PS I blame the goat.

@Kidsandliz @werehatrack Yes, the 2ⁿ ͩ and 3 ͬ ͩ core drilling is my fault; sorry about that.

I don’t think I can take the blame on the overarching problems with our medical system. The goat guide I received says I’m not responsible for “Deaths, pandemics. Wars. Results of IRL elections.” I’m afraid that the medical problems we’re dealing with now are a weird combination of pandemics (selfishness, greed, &c.) and elections. Contained almost entirely in the upper tiers of decision-makers (a great many of the nurses and others who deal with the actual patients are very understanding and helpful). Although there’s also a lot of sexism & racism present at the lower levels, as well, particularly around pain and pain relief.

Still, the extra core drilling is my fault, bundled with the lie about the pain.
(I am reminded of that The 100 storyline where a group of the “civilized” bad guys were harvesting unwilling bone marrow transplants without any anesthetic.) I hope you’re able to recover from it quickly.

@Kidsandliz On the topic of institutional problems with medicine, I just watched (a couple nights ago) the Last Week Tonight about the for-profit kidney dialysis market. Grr. Not cool (yet also not isolated).

@lonocat

/giphy put a match to your money

@lonocat I could eat the Powerball ticket, if that would make it any easier on you. But in the future, just know that there’s more fiber in two $1 bills than in a single lottery ticket, and the outcome is otherwise basically the same.

@lonocat @xobzoo The outcome isn’t the same if you eat the $2 by way of an intermediary use of the $2 for something like an ice cream popsicle. Friday I found a $2 lottery ticket in the parking lot at the grocery store when I got back in town. Someone else both lost their money and may spend the rest of their life wondering what they might have won - which in this case was nothing. And now I still have $2 for ice cream. The best of both worlds? Oh wait. The ticket was a loser ticket…

/8ball Did @Kidsandliz get the best of both worlds, even though she got the losing lottery ticket?
Without a doubt

@xobzoo

even though she got the losing lottery ticket

Wait. What? Only one ticket was a losing one???

@xobzoo Yes, it’s fully my fault that you liked your own posts that many times. I accept all the blame there.

I’m not sure it’s fair to blame me for not being able to search for your old self-likes. That’s been that way for a lot longer than my reign. If I weren’t so risk-averse, I’d hack into the Meh forum servers and track it down for you. As long as their database has a SQL interface (which I expect it does), it’d be dead simple to figure out. (It’s still doable without SQL, but possibly a lot more work.)

In fact, if Mercatalyst would be willing to grant me access to the Meh forum database (either by hiring me or just as a gesture of good will), I would love to write a tool to let mehtizans view their self-like history. I’d also love to generate related statistics, like “top 10 most-liked users” and popularity of topics vs comments vs replies.

In the meantime, for any that are recent enough to be within the last 30 days, visit your profile page and do the following:

1. set the activity filter to include “likes given”
2. search the page for the text “liked their own”
3. …
4. profit!

POKER! JOKER! NOT MEDIOCRE! AWESOME!

Oops, I deleted the reply that said “awesome” in it, but replies aren’t nested so now that mediocrebot response looks even weirder.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@xobzoo You’re a lifesaver! Or maybe you only ate a lifesaver. Either way, your guidance has saved my [fake social] life.

It turns out that in the early hours of March 21st I starred 60 things across several topics, which included 4 of my own messages (in AI art threads). I must have found myself to be pretty clever or something. I’m confident I wasn’t drunk at the time, but I can’t rule out that I was too sleep deprived to be operating at full capacity. I don’t know if it’s positive or negative that I didn’t read who the authors were before starring them.

I’m sure no one else cares, but since I’ve gone to the bother of tracking them down… in chronological order of “like”:

• “That famous one.”
• “Yes, I often see birds flying through the air in two pieces.”
• “/showme all junior developers replaced by chatgpt”
• “It’s ballet; they do inhuman things. How can we tell?”

Yep, I sure was awesome!
To quote Han Solo,

sometimes I amaze even myself.

@xobzoo To quote Princess Leia,

That doesn’t sound too hard.

@xobzoo

/showme a goat getting smacked for being snarky

Also, I blame you for how many tries it took to get a picture that was even vaguely what I was looking for.

@xobzoo

/8ball is xobzoo nuts because of carrying on both sides of the conversation by themselves?
As I see it, yes

@xobzoo I suspect that some of my self-likes are in the old goat voting threads when I hadn’t noticed that this was a stat yet.

@Kidsandliz I’ve done that. I’ve also been accused of dating myself, but what the hey, at least it’s easy to decide where we’re going to have dinner. (Almost always here at home.) (I’ve seldom been accused of being romantic. Particularly by me.)

@werehatrack @xobzoo lol it’s ok. I have some too although I don’t know how. You can always unstar but you have to be able to actually find them. And after 30 days there’s nothing in your profile. So I have no idea where they are.
¯\_(ツ)_/¯

@werehatrack

I’ve also been accused of dating myself

Well that at least will prevent a contribution to the world’s population… hmmm… well… unless you practice parthenogenesis. :snicker:

@Kidsandliz @werehatrack
my ‘self-likes’ came from checking who had liked my posts using my phone. It is super easy to accidently “like” the post rather than check to see who the likers are. I find that is much less likely to happen on a computer.

@narfcake That’s okay for me, since we have local ones with a better selection anyway. Plus Daiso.

@narfcake @werehatrack Then where are the thieves going to be able to unload all their cash?
https://www.cbsnews.com/losangeles/news/30-million-stolen-massive-heist-los-angeles-investigation/

@narfcake @phendrick

Then where are the thieves going to be able to unload all their cash?

Hefty tips at Starbucks?

@narfcake @phendrick @werehatrack Is this where someone inserts a joke about how all the thieves are in Washington, trying to get reelected?

@narfcake Hmm don’t let meh know. They might buy out their inventory to stock the irks.

@Kidsandliz I’m pretty sure meh has sourced from the suppliers that they source from already.

Also gotta love how PR and some media outlets are spinning their closure due to the retail environment and inflation – and not the aspect that a private equity firm purchased them several years ago for $1.6 billion and saddled the company with a lot of debt.

FWIW, the founder and original owner definitely practiced the value mantra. His office desk was the same as everyone else’s, the flooring and decor was all the same, and for years, drove a Toyota Tercel because of how economical it was. That was eventually replaced, however – with a Prius.

@narfcake Yeah private equity is ruining medical systems as well. They cut things to the minimum, resell at a profit and walk away not having to deal with the consequences of those actions. For those who don’t know venture capitalists only make their money when they sell whatever they are helping fund or become involved in), and then whomever buys it is stuck with a ton of debt so they raise prices and have to recover from the cuts that were made that were way too steep.

Toyota Tercels were great! I had a Toyota Tercel wagon years ago that had failed PA’s inspection due to too much rust. My cousin in PA then gave it to me. It had optional 4 wheel drive which got me out of the unplowed alley we had to park in where I lived in IL, had great gas mileage and needed few repairs. With a seat down I could sleep in it fully stretched out. Of course if I had gotten into an accident all that would have been left of it was a pile of rust dust on the road. I loved that thing.

@unksol Geez. I’m glad things turned out okay. Hope you’re able to go back to sleep!

@Kyeh @unksol Yikes! I’m not sure I will be able to go to sleep!
I wonder if he was more than just drunk?

I’m glad the deputies were able to handle it and no violence occurred at your house.

@Kyeh @unksol @xobzoo Good grief. Not what you want to have happen. As far as you knew anything could have happened. Glad it turned out OK for you. Hope it turned out OK for him.

@unksol Whew. I heartily applaud your handling of this. A hell of a lot of people would have made things worse instead of keeping their cool, staying rational, and actually trying to help. Kudoes for all of that. Good on ya, and I hope his own people were as considerate and supportive.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @xobzoo @werehatrack let’s just say I’m keeping all the accessible windows shut at night for a while. Never been an issue in almost 11 years and I like them open this time of year. Ventilation is also good. And probably just a lost drunk but. Eh.

I could do without more of that. It did leave the holster once when I had the door cracked to talk, but off on the side out of vision. Meth is also a thing in the Midwest although I’ve never directly run into it

@Kidsandliz @unksol @werehatrack @xobzoo He was really lucky he barged onto your property and not someone else’s who’s paranoid and trigger-happy! You hear horror stories about people who just innocently knock on the wrong door and get shot for it.

@Kidsandliz @Kyeh @werehatrack @xobzoo well those horror stories especially the one from last year are just. Morons. That’s not how you react to a car in your drive. That’s happened before and woke me up. I was also cautious and prepared and a little unnerved because no one should be pulling into my drive at 2AM lights off. Again kinda out in the country. But not that out. Got him some gas and they were fine. Still was a very unusual place to run out.

Common sense is you immediately just get out of the way and get your bearings. Now if he’d actually been coming through the screen that close to my head, with any weapon. Id just be dead before I could move. And he wouldn’t be yelling like that.

But that’s a hell of a jump scare from an unexpected direction when you’re half asleep… You can’t just walk up there you have to make an effort to get there vs the front door. Definitely takes a second to process. Then the whole “let me in my house”… If he thinks your in his house and he’s drunk and armed.

Even if someone was actively kicking in the front door as long as your armed and ready and have space. . You can still wait till they actually do. Usually the whole 21 foot rule is based on a draw and two shots… Not actually being on target.

But all of that being said is because I know within reason no one has any reason to actively target me and a random person would… Be making a mistake.

If you had a violent ex. Or a stalker. Domestic abuser. A protection order. A lot of that stuff shifts… If you heard their voice trying to break in… Eh. Maybe stand your ground should apply…

Update: The next person on the list came and got it on the first try today thank goodness.

@Kidsandliz Wow, I feel bad that I originally considered that first one a person; they seem much less than that. (I can imagine a lot of legitimate things delaying them, but there’s no excuse for their behavior after you’d said the day had ended.)

That one’s definitely my fault; sorry about that. I’m glad it worked out with the next one.

@Kidsandliz I agree with you. However for the"free" stuff from Mom and Dad’s we could get away with just leaving it outside. Guessing not an option?

Granted my sister’s did that with some paid stuff and people mostly left the money. I dont think any were nextdoor though… Mostly Facebook marketplace. Probably.

@unksol Unfortunately I am not allowed to “curb alert” stuff in this apartment building. As I am on a main road it would vanish nearly instantly but I’d get in trouble.

@Kidsandliz kinda figured that but if someone was coming wasn’t sure if you could put it by the door for someone to pick up. But I know all sorts of places get super fussy about any of that.

What about it’s in the dumpster you can dive for it? Lol

I absolutely hate throwing out anything someone could use

@unksol Our dumpster is behind a high wall and the entrance is locked so can’t put it there. The laws in this state make it trespassing to access a dumpster touching a building or behind a locked fence or wall, otherwise it is free game. Like you I hate ditching things that others can use. Yesterday I took 15 suits (2 different sizes though so I don’t have a massive suit collection just in one size - lost a lot of weight with chemo) to the local state university’s career clothes closet.

Made me happy they will help students on job interviews and good suits are expensive, made me sad because doing this was an actual self acknowledgement that between 3 cancers, more recently long covid, the major gap in my vitae (resume) and publishing, and age discrimination that my academic career is more or less over except for adjunct work. I saved two suits in case I actually get another job interview where I need them, but the rest of that stuff is now gone.

@Goatcrapp Sorry, that’s my fault.
Everyone’s aiming at me, but I stood in the wrong spot for too long, so some of it headed a bit in your direction.

Plus your name is pretty similar, so any time anyone says “goat” it’ll cause your brain to process whether they’re talking to you or someone else. It’s basically like Alexa’s wake-word. Just like how Alexa gets confused when it hears words similar to its name; the same thing happens with humans (and goats).

@Goatcrapp @xobzoo hmmm a sleeper goat from 2019… With 79 orders.

I nominate… Wait no. Too early

If you don’t get the reference/haven’t participated in the forums

https://meh.com/forum/topics/scapegoat-of-the-month--a-brief-history

https://meh.com/forum/topics/idiots-guide-to-being-a-goat

We pick one every month to manage the “blame” thread

@Goatcrapp With a username like that, certain folks on the forums might consider you perfect for the position of unceremonious Goat of the Month. Not to worry, the person chosen usually has a much higher profile, and the job is entirely not-serious

@phendrick Yeah, that one is completely my fault. They first tried to feed it to me, in the guise of a reward for being goat, but I declined. Apparently they’re now required to sell it. One of those weird laws.

On the up-side, no one is required to buy them.

@chienfou That one is definitely my fault, for not making them frequent enough to establish a pattern you could get used to. Sorry.

@xobzoo
No worries. I enjoy them when they appear.

@chienfou Fwiw, as of today the official list is now four, named by their posting date:

• 01 (a welcome to my goatdom)
• 04 (a bunch of limericks)
• 06 (something about the eclipse)
• 15 (tax day reminder, but it should’ve been as low as 09, if I hadn’t been such a slacker)

I guess this is actually just me publicly patting myself on the back for finally getting something else posted.

@phendrick That one isn’t actually mine, it’s my cousin’s. But I did kinda put him up to it. So I guess that’s still my fault.

@ironcheftoni I’ve been seeing reports for a while that the biscuits were the only thing keeping people coming through the doors.

@ironcheftoni @werehatrack A grlfrend n a prevous lfe always called the place “Dead Lobster”. Guess that was prophetc.

@ironcheftoni @phendrick @werehatrack im not clear on if her issue was she thought lobsters were dead before cooking? which like most shellfish/mollusks is dangerous.

She objected to the killing/cooking method?

Or she… Just wanted a live lobster?

@ironcheftoni @unksol @werehatrack No, she was just being funny. And think most of us don’t want a live lobster side-stepping across our dinner plate when we’re trying to fork it.

@ironcheftoni @phendrick @unksol I’ve been calling them dead lobster for a long time, too. Think it’s just because of the fact that it’s an obvious riff on their trade name. And the lobster is most certainly dead by the time it gets to your table. At least, you had better hope so. Frankly, I prefer most of the rest of their menu over lobster.

@ironcheftoni @phendrick @werehatrack some people get touchy about the whole boiling alive thing/would have an issue.

Didn’t actually think she wanted a pet. It’s an odd distinction. But I haven’t been in one in like 20 years. And that was a company paid for lunch. So my opinion is worthless.

@unksol

So my opinion is worthless.

No, not really. It may be misinformed, out of date, or out of touch, but it’s worth as much as all the other ones that are put forth in these threads.

@phendrick @fool
A report not behind a pay-wall:
https://www.msn.com/en-us/news/us/dallas-closed-permitting-office-building-had-fire-code-violations-reports-show/ar-BB1lObqW

@fool @phendrick That’s just so very Dallas

@fool @phendrick @werehatrack This is a goat finding fire code violations while inspecting the building where permits are granted

(fwiw, the goat pictured is not me)

@fool @phendrick @werehatrack And these are some fire violions [sic].

@fool @werehatrack @xobzoo And I wonder why that woman has a (water? / air?) hose attached to her leg.

@fool @phendrick @werehatrack @xobzoo
Maybe it’s running upper pant leg. It would certainly help to explain that look on her face.

@xobzoo I agree, that one’s all on me. You wouldn’t have to deal with DHL ignoring the package for two days if I hadn’t ordered anything from Meh.

@xobzoo P.S. Be sure to inspect the contents when it arrives. DHL employees may have been trying to eat it before you get it.

Your screenshot doesn’t show what the order is, so it’s not obvious if it’s human food or not, but many DHL employees are goats (not my relatives), so they’re willing to eat pretty much anything they can fit their teeth around.

Of course, that’s true of UPS and FedEx, too.

@xobzoo I guess I should update to say that it arrived yesterday, and it looks like everything is present.

@phendrick Similar products on A’zon seem to say the same thing…
??

@phendrick Sorry, I should’ve told you about the benefits of buttering popcorn with a sprayer.

But while I’m here, I might as well fill you in on some other old Chinese customs surrounding popcorn:

(or you can watch one that’s less exciting but more authentic if you like)

@phendrick @xobzoo I’ve got one of those, but I haven’t tried it yet. The instruction sheet is in Chinese. I may have to feed it to Google Translate.

@phendrick Saturday, June 22.

https://www.nationaldaycalendar.com/national-day/national-chocolate-eclair-day-june-22

@phendrick OBTW, today (April 23) is also National Jellybean Day.

@phendrick There may have been some confusion with the instructions you received. That’s probably my fault.

What you’re supposed to do is get the earth wet first, then roll in it. This is what I did for Earth day:


I should point out that this differs from the correct celebrations of Pi day and Chocolate Eclair day, so it’s very understandable that did it wrong this year. It’s also not commonly celebrated, so it’s hard to find good examples of it online.

@tinamarie1974 I was hoping that paw decided to heal up without additional help. Stressful for both of you. Send healing thoughts down your way. Extra peanut butter treats and scratches should help

@tinamarie1974 Have you gotten the results yet? 🫶

@Kyeh hi, yes sorry. Was setting up time off, changing around his grooming appts and my personal appointments.

So, @Charliedoggo will be having surgery on May 7th to remove his partial toe (basically front right ring finger) and the surrounding tissue.

I think I explained that he is missing roughly 2/3 of that toe as an apparent birth defect.

Vet stated that the toe just needs to be removed. The little white postules are like little ulcers on his paw from his foot sitting wrong and it rubbing/aggrivating the tissue/toe beans. Said once it/the bone is removed up to basically his wrist for that toe he will sew the pinkie and ring finger closer together and it will help his footing be correct.

He will be wrapped and in a splint for 2 weeks. Can only move around on a leash and if I cannot supervise then he will need to be in the crate. He does not do well in crates and he uses hisnright paw to try and break out…soooooooo vet is gonna give me something to mellow him out. And Im taking off the rest of that week to give him my 100% full attention.

Sigh… but I was really impressed w the surgeon and the office is the best in STL, so I’m gonna focus on that.

Still happy to take any positive vibes, prayers, etc for a successful surgery and speedy recovery.

@speediedelivery Charlie wanted me to thank you for the extra PB treats! He thought they were tasty and since his Uncle Buddy is here, he got a couple as well!!

@CharlieDoggo @Kyeh @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 I hope Charliedog does well with the surgery and recovers quickly.

@CharlieDoggo @speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 Wow, that’s a lot - and not easy for you! I hope it all goes as smoothly as possible.

@CharlieDoggo @Kyeh thanks both . I will provide updates as we move along.

@werehatrack he may be too busy eating

@tinamarie1974 @werehatrack Why would zucchini day be in the spring?

@speediedelivery @tinamarie1974 @werehatrack
Don’t get me wrong - I like “zucchini” bread - but how much does the (bland) zucchini actually contribute to the taste? Seems like any other nearly flavorless filler could be substituted without much difference. IME it’s mostly the spices and sweetener, and the zucchini was just added as a way to use it up.

@werehatrack AND… today is National DNA day - of which we all have some. So we celebrate us and our pets? I guess we could justify the other “day” too because we’d be eating DNA.

@pakopako That, or you’ll be having some reannual grape wine in the near future, whose hangover occurs before the potable is consumed.

@Jackinga Oh NO - that sounds horrible! I didn’t know that was even a possibility.

@Jackinga Yikes!!! So sorry you are having to go through that. The question becomes whether or not the dental tech committed malpractice and I hope they don’t charge you more to fix that mess.

I’d imagine the odds are high they will do a bone implant if now the hole is too big to put back in a new metal anchor. The bone does not come from you - they put in powdered bone they buy - and over time your body replaces that with your own bone so that procedure isn’t horrible since it isn’t a bone graph of your own bone.

I had to have that done twice (eg bone put in) before there was enough solid bone in there to put my screw in to begin with. I had had a delay due to chemo that was long enough the bone was slowly thinning out due to lack of pressure of me biting and chewing (front tooth). My tooth root had been absorbed so tooth broke off and came out 1 week before chemo started - and couldn’t do it until my counts had recovered from that. Fortunately that worked well and all went well once they did the second bone implant there was enough bone density to do the implant (which continues to work well some years later). I hope you are as lucky.

@Kidsandliz I’m not blaming the technician or the dentist, or the oral surgeon. The tech and the dentist were just as shocked as I was, but without the intense pain I was still feeling in my skull.

With me still sitting in the chair, they finally got hold of the oral surgeon, who was equally surprised and dismayed, but again with far less discomfort than moi.

The question was, what to do? What to do? Should they try to screw it back in? Put a stitch in the gum to close up the hole? Caulk it up and paint over it? Flex Seal?

The O.S. said, “Leave it as is. Do nothing. Give him the implant to bring with him, and I will see him ASAP next week.”

I have probably been accused more than once over the years for a having a hole in my head, which may well be true, but now I am sporting an extra one – at least for now.

As it turned out, my visit was for two crowns as I had two implants done at the same time. The other procedure went off without a hitch. So my score for the day in the dental arena was: Christians 1; Lions 1.

Unlike you, K&L, I’m not on chemo, so I can’t lay the blame there. That’s what the goat is for, eh?

I don’t know why this happened. Both of those implants passed the torque test (10 Newton/cm) with no issues about six weeks ago, when I was cleared to get them crowned.

But thank you both (kyeh and kidsandliz) concern and comments.