Too late It’s over

The Don't-Make-Us-Throw-It-Away Edible Arrangements Bundles

Okay, so… deep breath… this is a little confusing: you can choose one 2-pack of holiday-themed Edible Arrangements, or two of those 2-packs of holiday-themed Edible Arrangements and a 3-Gift-Box tower.
Some of the stuff might be a little past its best-by date, that is if you’re a square who blindly accepts the lamestream media’s concept of “chronological” time.
Look, we don’t know what else to tell you. Do you want a bunch of candy and pretzels and dipped fruit or not?
You could hand them out on the bus or something, maybe? I don’t know.
Model: FR33U50FTH353

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Purchase and Rescue

Friends. We come to you not asking, not suggesting, but begging: please, buy one these Edible Arrangements bundles. You would not only be doing us a great service by ensuring we don’t waste valuable food. You’d be helping us deal with a situation here at Meh headquarters.

You see, just yesterday, we welcomed in a new class of interns. After a brief introductory meeting, we sent them on a self-guided tour (having a paid employee conduct it has been deemed, by our productivity analysts, to be “financially irresponsible”). Things apparently went smoothly enough at the beginning. Several employees saw the group of interns wandering from the snack center to the IT desk to the fitness chamber to the hibernation pods.

It seems that the problem occurred somewhere en route from the virtual sauna to the synthetic wildlife conservatory. They took a wrong turn and ended up in a conference room where we had been storing some of our excess products. We don’t know exactly how, but there followed an avalanche, and now the door is blocked fully by Edible Arrangements and our interns are trapped and disoriented (meaning, they have not completed orientation).

We have been able to communicate with the interns by means of a walkie-talkie we slipped through a small hole among the boxes. Fearing they may damage the materials, we have asked them not to touch the boxes unless they would like to pay for them. This seemed like a viable option to us, that the interns essentially buy their way out, but the interns were not thrilled with the idea, even after we offered a generous discount.

We also don’t want to simply move them ourselves, as this would take time and effort without any financial payoff in the end. Therefore, we’ve decided to pass the same amazing discount we offered our interns onto you. Today we’re not just offering you your choice of one 2-pack of some holiday-themed Edible Arrangements or two 2-packs of a different set of holiday-themed Edible Arrangements; we’re giving you peace of mind and letting you sleep easy tonight knowing that you did something to help in these trying times.

This plan has been deemed by our productivity analysts to be “akin to the termination of two feathered ornithurae with just a single blunt projectile.”

Sounds good to us! So please, buy some Edible Arrangements and help us rescue our interns.

The Don't-Make-Us-Throw-It-Away Edible Arrangements Bundles

Purchase and Rescue

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