Too late It’s over

Sboly 3000 2-in-1 Grind and Brew Automatic Single Serve Coffee Maker & 16oz Mug

Did you know coffee loses 60% of its aroma/flavor 15 minutes after grinding?
Well, this thing grinds whole beans right before brewing for maximum flavor
You can also use pre-ground coffee if you want, but we warned you
Comes with a 16oz travel mug, but thanks to an adjustable drip tray, you can use nearly any mug you’d like
Can it make margaritas: no, but it can make… wait for it… coffee!

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Not So Snobby

What’s that you say? You like coffee?

Well, that’s fantastic news! I always love to meet another coffee fanatic. A lot of people out there just don’t understand the beverage’s nuances, don’t you think? They believe they can brew any which way and still end up with a delicious cup.

Real coffee-heads like you and me, though? We understand the truth. There’s just one right way to make it.

First, you start with the best beans. Me? I prefer a single-origin, single-row organic light roast Nicaraguan. Yes, that’s right: single-row. It’s not just coffee from one region or one farm. It’s from a specific row of coffee plants at that farm. I usually go with a row four for Central American coffees. It just tastes better. Something about the way the sunlight hits.

Once you’ve got your beans, you need to hand grind each one. And then, using tweezers, you need to place each individual grind on a scale, to ensure uniformity.

After that, it’s time to heat up the water. I do mine to do over a fire built from locally sourced pine logs. I wear heat-resistant gloves and hold the beaker over the flame, checking the temperature every 30 seconds until I reach 205 degrees. If I go even a fraction over, I pour out the whole thing–because it’s tainted now, the molecules are all wrong–crack another bottle of Fiji water, and start over.

Oh, did I mention that? That it’s Fiji water? Anything else is a huge no-no.

Eventually, once the water’s where I want it, I use a Chemex to brew, allowing ample time for the flavors to bloom. Then, I pour it into a mug I bought from a ceramicist in Prague, designed specifically to accentuate stone fruit notes.

All in all, the process takes about three hours. But it’s worth it. Why, here! I have a cup ready! Give it a try. And tell me, do you get the same flavor profile as me: the taste of lemon curd cooked on a warm summer day in Paris, a hint of Michigan strawberries drizzled with just a tiny bit of aged balsamic, a whisper of tobacco fallen onto the floor of a bustling open-air market from the hand-rolled cigarette of a Peruvian cellist?

What’s that? It just tastes like coffee to you?

Huh.

So maybe I made some assumptions about your level of coffee interest. You might actually be fine brewing in something as simple as, say, a Sboly 3000 2-in-1 Grind and Brew Automatic Single Serve Coffee Maker. As the name implies, you can put whole beans directly into it, and it’ll grind and brew them in one swift action. Plus, it’s got an adjustable drip tray, so you can use just about any mug, regardless of size, without worrying about too much splash-out. And speaking of mugs, it comes with a 16oz travel mug, so you can make coffee and get on the road!

It’s really very convenient, which is great if that’s what you’re looking for. Me, I want my coffee to be art.

Anyway, I better get going. I’m supposed to meet a man who’s just come in from London with a coveted batch of ninth-row Burundi, and he’s selling it for just $64 per bean! What a steal!

Sboly 3000 2-in-1 Grind and Brew Automatic Single Serve Coffee Maker & 16oz Mug

Not So Snobby

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