Pick-Your-2-Pack: Exhart LED Smoking Gnome Statues
- Pick your two-pack—of hand-painted stoned gnomes.
- These guys are all about a foot tall
- The idea is better executed than it has any right to be.
- Lights up, has timer.
- Indoor/Outdoor!
- Can it make a margarita? It can make a margarita a bit more of an experience.
High Art
So part of marketing is understanding what’s inherently possible to pull off and what is not.
That dude who was in charge of marketing Crocs managed to sell enough Crocs to horrifically jam every escalator on Earth 1,000 times over and then went on to convince the entire upper crust of suburban hell that they couldn’t get through the day without a giant Stanley travel mug that doesn’t fit in a cupholder and weighs enough so stun an adolescent hippo.
That’s some generational marketing talent, we admit. (Seriously. Next time it seems like everyone you know is buying some random nonsense, go ahead and Google “Terence Reilly LinkedIn” and there’s a good chance you’ll have predicted his latest gig. Shameless genius bastard.)
Regardless, we’re not sitting on the next big thing right now. We don’t have 2025’s pet rock or fidget spinner…or ugly clog or giant mug.
We’ve got these stoned garden gnomes.
And it feels like stoned garden gnomes will really test the limits of manufactured desirability and demand. That isn’t to say that they aren’t desirable or that there isn’t demand. We’re actually confident that by the time you’ve read this far in the write-up we’ve already sold an unsettling number of these things. Rather we’re just pretty sure that the kind of person who wants a stoned garden gnome will buy one immediately and the kind of person who doesn’t want a stoned garden gnome probably isn’t going to be talked into it by anything short of Terence Reilly making them available in limited edition collector’s colors while cutting product placement deals with everybody who’s anybody on TikTok.
Since Meh’s TikTok promotional budget never really recovered from all the money we spent on that ill-conceived attempt to turn the Gangnam Style IRK Challenge into a viral moment, we’re going to have to do this the old-fashioned way—market research. (P.S. It turns out that “Irk Twerk” translates very controversially into Korean. Where were you on THAT, Duolingo Owl, you intrusive little sack of pixelated judgment???)
Anyway, this time we spent the entire afternoon over on Reddit scrolling through posts on /r/marijuanaenthusiasts/ only to be left more confused now than when we started. Apparently, the stoned gnome demographic can also be expected to have strong opinions on the root balls of saplings and peak fall foliage.
So yeah. We’re stumped and aren’t sure that it matters what we put here at this point.
Maybe we’re going to go think about it under some trees.
