Overpriced at any price.

Check out this genuinely awful tablet. It’s a total piece of shit. It’s the least appealing Android since Vicky from Small Wonder. It freezes up more often than the Weeping Angels. If it feels a little sticky, don’t worry, that’s just residue from the box of Cracker Jacks. You’d have more fun playing with a solar calculator. At night.

Now is when we say “But hey, look how cheap it is! Buy it anyway!” Right?

Wrong. We should be paying you to take it. When you consider the time you’ll spend struggling to get this to work, or waiting for it to work, or looking up how to make it work, you could pay yourself minimum wage for all those hours and then go buy one of the cheaper Kindle Fires. Or a low-end Galaxy. Or an iPad mini. Or literally any other tablet available today.

And that’s not even figuring the mental anguish. Do you really want to open your home to a tablet that inspires comments from Amazon reviewers like “it is terrible!!!” and “Disappointed”? Even one of the good reviews concedes “it runs a little slow and it tends to get stuck/froze more often than other tablets.” Judging by comments like “I was gonna return it but ofcourse no can do sime because it is electronic!! So I would rather just throughout that 100.00 I spent in the trash because that’s what it is!!!”, the trauma of dealing with this tablet may even damage your brain’s language-processing system. Sure these reviewers paid a lot more than 20 bucks, but that level of pain isn’t worth any price.

You’re better than this. You deserve more from a tablet. From us. From life.

We’re not better than this. If you keep paying us money for cruel swindles like this tablet, we’re going to keep taking it. And we’re never going to learn. So keep your money. We can’t afford to pay you to take this tablet. But you can pay yourself not to.