A Cut Above

As I’ve mentioned before, I’m a HUGE fan of any cooking competition show. But sometimes I get frustrated: there’s so much focus on creative cooking methods and crazy flavor combinations with almost no acknowledgement of the basics. Like, for example, cutting. Even in a show called Chopped there’s barely any!

But that’s all about to change. Because, using this Kai Inspire Cutlery Set as my muse, I’ve put together three pitches for shows highlighting the art of simple knife work that will surely have the execs over at the Food Network DROOLING! Check it:

1. Trying is Crying: Three culinary students face off in the ultimate test of speed and perseverance. In the first round, they must cut onions as quickly as possible using an Inspire 8-inch Chef’s Knife. The twist: their tears are collected and factored against their time. One student is then eliminated. The other two will go on to a finale, wherein they must cut herbs using an Inspire 3.5 inch Paring Knife. Once again, they will be timed, and once again, there will be tears! Not from the herbs, but because they’ll have to watch videos about rescue dogs learning to love.

2. Living on the Wedge: The slice of lemon on a glass of water or iced tea is often taken for granted. But not by on this show! Using an Inspire 6 inch Utility Knife, seven masters of citrus division will battle it out to see who can cut the perfect wedge! With judging rubric that includes twenty-three ratable categories–including size, style, seed-distribution, and likeliness that it’ll squirt you in the eye–the competition will be fierce.

3. Friend or Foe, Knife or No: Two hypnotized prep chefs must race to see who can chop a carrot the fastest. One is given an Inspire 7 Inch Santoku Knife Knife but has been hypnotized to believe that the carrot is their oldest friend in the world. The other has been given only the sheath of an Inspire 7 Inch Santoku Knife Knife but has been hypnotized to believe the carrot is their greatest enemy. Who will prevail in this battle of mind over matter?

Those are my ideas! Please, feel free to share your own pitches in the comments. And don’t forget to buy a Kai Inspire Cutlery Set so you can live out all of your cooking show dreams in the comfort of your own home!