Mwah-ha-ha-ha

웰컴백 코리아! 스피커 독에 대한 우리의 조언을 보기좋게 저버리셨더군요. 헐, 여러분 완전 대박 (짱 멋지세요!) 그리고 그런 여러분을 우리는 사랑한답니다. 그럼 오늘도 즐거운 쇼핑 되세요!^^

For three weeks now, experienced Meh victi- uh, customers have suffered through our speaker-docks experiment. We’ve tried everything we can think of to dissuade them from buying these misbegotten relics of the pre-Bluetooth age. We’ve pointed out how inconvenient it is to not be able to use your phone while it’s charging or playing music. We’ve written our product story in a language most of our customers can’t read. We’ve bombarded you with profanity.

And still, the sales figures keep climbing.

Today it gets truly diabolical. We’ve devised a method of selling you a speaker dock so devious, you can barely tell you’re buying one: offer a decent deal on the rarely-discounted iPad Air and force you to buy them together.

It raises a philosophical question: if the iPad Air accounts for the vast bulk of the purchase price, are you really buying a speaker dock at all? What is the sound of one poison pill clapping in the forest if your wallet doesn’t feel it fall? Or something?

Now, as speaker docks go, the JBL Mini is not the worst. It’s got bigger speakers than the Micro. It fits both iPads and iPhones with a Lightning connector. It’s got a rechargeable battery. But check out how idiotic it is anyway: the most obvious use for it, watching movies on your iPad, is out because you have to leave the iPad standing up in the dock. DURRRR.

You’d rather get stung by a bee than a wasp. You’d rather watch the best episode of Dads than the worst one. You’d rather have this speaker dock than some others. But in every case, you’d rather avoid the whole painful experience.

…Unless there’s an iPad Air in it for you. Maybe. So make your (sadistic) choice. And pay no attention to the men in white lab coats.