A Meh-rathon of Sweet Meh-mories

This is an Instant Regret Kit. You either know what that is, or can jump in the forum to ask other people about it.

Why aren’t we giving you more info? Well, we weren’t sure what to write for the Meh-rathon so we decided to look at some past Meh write-ups for inspiration. (You can find a random one here, if you want.) Unfortunately, all that did was make us nostalgic and maybe a little teary-eyed. And then the boss was all “Where’s the write-ups, writer dude?” and we panicked and… uhh… Please enjoy this classic write-up about an entirely different product! Also, feel free to share in the forum if you find one you liked or forgot about or missed entirely.

헬로우 코리아! 만나서 반가워요. 그런데 여러분들은 왜 이 스피커 독을 구입하려고 하시나요? 한국에 대체 무슨 일이 일어나고 있는 건가요? 참 궁금하네요! 휴대폰을 충전하고 음악을 즐길 수 있는 훨씬 더 나은 방법들이 있지 않나요? 또다른 제품을 구입하는건 어떠신가요? (그러면… 앙대요! 흑). 물론, 그럼에도 불구하고 이 스피커 독을 원하신다면, 당연히 기쁘게 여러분께 판매 하겠습니다!

(여러분이 궁금해 할 까봐요, 우리가 갑자기 한국말이 유창해 지건 아니구요, 이 문장만 번역가에 의해 번역되었어요. 그러니 만약 포럼에 글을 남겼는데 댓글이 없다면, 여러분을 무시해서가 아니라 단지 우리가 한국어에 무식해서랍니다!)

Our ongoing experiment continues to yield fascinating results. Twice now, we’ve urged you, in the strongest possible terms, not to buy these speaker docks. Why would you, when you can get speakers that don’t require you to nail your phone to one spot? Speaker docks are a nullity wrapped in suck suspended in a void of illogic. They are a waste of plastic, of space, of the human spirit.

And yet, some of you have continued to buy them. Indeed, sales actually went up the second time.

Questions for further inquiry: are purchasers under some sad delusion that they might be fun to “hack”? That they might contain usable parts for some other project? That taking them apart might yield some insight into electronics, manufacturing, something, anything?

Sorry, our De-meh-lition expert Harrison tried that already. The reward for his efforts: one short little lightning cable, some tiny useless speakers, and a pile of trash. And keep in mind, Harrison didn’t have to pay for his speaker dock. Chopping it up wasn’t even worth the wear and tear on his screwdrivers.

The only worthwhile thing Harrison got out of it was an entertaining forum post. And now that’s been done. So if that’s what you’re planning, you might want to run a little cost-benefit analysis before you buy.

Our experiment will continue. How strongly must we insist that you shouldn’t buy these before you will stop buying them? Where is the limit? Is there a limit? In pursuit of these answers, we’re willing to sacrifice a million speaker docks, if we must. Well, maybe “sacrifice” is the wrong word there.