Too late It’s over

Haribo Gold Gummi Bears

Gummi by the fistful with your choice of two 72-ounce bags (nine pounds!) or 24 two-ounce bags
Haribo Gummi Bears are the first, best, and gummiest, invented by Hans Riegel in Bonn, Germany in 1922
Weird fact: the green ones are strawberry flavored, for real
If you get the two 72-ounce bags, one will be best by end of January, the other will be best by the end of April
The 24 little bags are best by the end of July
Model: 30270, 30180 (ZIP code shout-outs to swanky Peachtree City and booming Villa Rica, Georgia, respectively)

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9 Lbs. of Whoa

Nine pounds of Gummi Bears, you guys! NINE FREAKING POUNDS. How did this happen?

People who don’t work here have always had this misconception about what it’s like. They think you just wander the WWW wonderland looking for the awesomest shit ever, buying it up, selling it on the site, and making everyone happy.

Then an unlucky few actually get a job here and discover that the truth is far more boring and depressing. Your days are spent asking people if they have any crap nobody wants that they’ll sell to us super cheap. If you’re lucky, you can take a pallet of sadness off of somebody’s hands, for a price that only reminds that person what a failure this product was.

But that’s not the story here. This time, it happened how people imagine it does. And that never happens.

Somebody brought gummi bears into the office, for somebody else who loves gummi bears. A third person happened by and remarked that his neighbor works for Haribo. He thought maybe he’d ask her if they had any deals.

Boy, did they!

And these aren’t those knockoff gummi bears. Haribo Gummi Bears are the originals. A confectioner named Hans Riegel made the first Gummibärchen in Bonn, Germany, in 1922. (Hans Riegel Bonn, Haribo, get it?) He originally peddled these ursine morsels of sculpted glucose for two a pfennig at kiosks. By the 1980s, they’d conquered the world - and spawned countless inferior imitators, because ol’ Hans neglected to trademark the phrase “gummi bears”.

Anyway, point is, we stumbled across something amazing and we went out and bought it: gigantic bags of Gummi Bears. It’s ridiculous and amazing. And now we’re selling it and it’s gonna make you happy.

Remind yourself how gummi bears even became a thing in the first place, one deliciously gummi bite at a time. Serve booze-infused gummi bears at your next grownup party. Or just keep them at your desk at work. Who knows what awesomeness might break out?

Haribo Gold Gummi Bears

9 Lbs. of Whoa

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