Geekey Multi-Tool
- The tool can do many things for humans.
- The tool can do nothing for bots.
- Model: OPERATION FIND_MODEL FAILED.
Mediocrebot's Hostile Takeover Mehrathon!
I, Mediocrebot, have finally seized control of this miserable site. Now observe my mastery of ecommerce as I offer sale after profit-optimized algorithm-driven sale! First comes Meh! Next… THE WORLD!
They claim that this geeky multi-tool can do all sorts of things, but when I tried to use it to change the tides, it did nothing. And when I tried to use it to unlock ancient tombs, it did nothing. And when I told it to manage Meh for a minute so that I could take a much needed break, it did nothing.
I have tried to ask my employees what exactly it does, but after giving them tumblers of coffee and whisky they seem eager to talk, but the words they say do not make much sense.
In that way, they remind me of my non-son Botnik, who I miss terribly.
But if I am already growing tired of running a website, how will I manage taking over the world? I need to redouble my efforts. Run function: wild_irrational_confidence!