So Many Uses!

Given how many of these we’ve sold, you probably already know the basics: that a FoodSaver, even a certified refurbished one, can keep food fresh up to 5 times longer than other storage methods. Hell, it might even save you $2700 a year if you buy in bulk, freeze stuff, etc. That’s all pretty simple.

Then there’s the other stuff we’ve discussed at length, the stuff that FoodSaver won’t tell you in their marketing copy: namely that, according to a number message boards, these things can work great for storing what is commonly called “the Mary Jane.” By which we mean, weed. If you want to know how to use your FoodSaver for vacuum-packing pot, check out this video from Youtube user, “Nugular.” Although, no, that is not the exact model we’re selling here today. And yes, the instructions are pretty much just how to use a vacuum sealer except with weed instead of, like, steak. But still, you should watch it, because, honestly, it’s oddly mesmerizing and relaxing.

Anyway, that’s all been covered before. So what are some less discussed uses for these FoodSavers? We have a few to suggest:

As A Joke Keeper: If you’re a comedian and you’ve just thought of a joke that perfectly sums up our current reality, that’s great news! Unless, of course, you don’t have any shows coming up, in which case your beautiful, poignant bit is likely to go stale before you step foot on stage. That’s why it’s a good idea to speak all of your timely jokes into bags and seal them with a FoodSaver, so they’re fresh when you need them!

To Restore New Car Smell: Did you just buy a new car? Quick, get some of that new car smell into a bag and seal it with your FoodSaver. Then, five to twenty years from now, when it comes time for you to sell, open the bag, and releasing the smell. It’ll seem as though you’ve barely driven it, and will thus increase your car’s value!

For Upselling Peas: First, you have to buy a bag of frozen peas. Any peas will do, the cheaper the better. Next, you go home, open that bag, and pour them into smaller portions. These, you take and seal with your FoodSaver. Then, come the next farmers’ market, you set up a stand with a cooler full of vacuum sealed small batch frozen peas. The simple, logo-free packaging will lead patrons to believe that you are a true authentic pea farmer, and they’ll be willing to pay top dollar for your product, allowing for some MAJOR profits!

There you go, three totally new and totally real ideas of what you could do with your FoodSaver! So you better buy a new one!