Oh boy. Fishing. Can't wait.

I don’t love fishing because I get a kick out of catching the biggest fish. It shouldn’t be a competition.

I don’t love fishing because I like to eat fish. Not a big seafood guy. Too fishy.

I don’t love fishing because of the peace and quiet. It’s boring. I pretty much just watch Netflix on my iPad the whole time.

I don’t love fishing because it reminds me of my dad. He never fished a day in his life. We weren’t that close anyway.

I don’t love fishing because I love being around nature. I look around at these stupid trees, all I see are Home Depots and Dave & Buster’ses waiting to be built.

I don’t love fishing for the camaraderie. My friends aren’t interested in fishing. Neither one of them.

I don’t love fishing for the challenge. I can’t even tell if there’s any actual technique involved.

I don’t love fishing because it gets me out on the water. Most natural bodies of fresh water cause a violent allergic reaction on my skin. Just a few drops and I’ll have hives for days.

No, I love fishing for the sunglasses. Polycarbonate polarized lenses. 100% UVA and UVB protection. Lightweight wraparound frames. Floating retainer. That’s what I’m talking about. Sure, I could just wear them around town, at the park, while I’m driving, whatever. But then I wouldn’t be fishing.

And I love fishing.

Wondering why these are more expensive than the sunglasses on the spinny rack at the car wash? These are the middle column below, “Master Angler Polycarbonate”: