"Silent Night" is better than an actual silent night.

Silence. Sweet, blissful silence. A quiet space we can fill with deep reflection on matters spiritual, with calm meditation on the higher meaning in our lives. Blessed silence. Heavenly peace.

UNLESS it’s the strained, awkward silence of a family holiday where nobody has anything left to say to each other. Everybody has heard all about the gate agent who was rude to your aunt at the airport, and how much your dad’s new gutters are going to cost him, and how your two politically opposed cousins feel about Ferguson. Now silence sits heavy all around, pressing down on your chest, holding back the hands on the clock. In this noxious fog, the only thing you can contemplate is whether you want to drink another beer or gouge your brain out with a fondue fork.

Silence. Sour, hateful silence. It must be killed. Reach into your pocket. Play something on your phone. You’ve already set up your Cyber Acoustics 2.1 Bluetooth Speakers on a nearby shelf or countertop. You’ve loaded your phone with a playlist of unobjectionable seasonal chestnuts. The two satellite speakers and subwoofer will come to the rescue, filling that awkward silence with something, anything, Dear God, please, anything.

Your family will be relieved of any pressure to speak to one another. And that’s the greatest gift of all.