The 3 Stand-ard Outcomes

There are three potential outcomes to buying this Cool-Living Adjustable Stand Up Desk:

Outcome 1

You buy the standing desk. You’re intrigued by its promises of a stronger core, healthier circulation, improved productivity, and better posture. But the truth is, you don’t care for it. You’ve spent your entire life believing that getting work done requires sitting down and shutting up. So how do you expect, as an adult, to change your working position? Maybe if you gave it more time… but you don’t want to. You just want to use it as a normal desk. And that’s fine! Because this thing didn’t cost north of $600 like some models out there; it cost less than $200. And look, that’s not nothing, but it was a worthwhile gamble.

Outcome 2

You love your new standing desk. But it’s not enough. Once you taste the thrill of working upright, you want more. You quickly replace your Cool-Living Adjustable Stand Up Desk with a treadmill desk. You start out walking, but soon enough you’re outright sprinting while you manage your spreadsheets and respond to emails. You get a kiddy pool and set it up behind the treadmill, filling it with a medley of pirañas and water moccasins. Now, any slowdown and you’re in trouble. But even that’s not enough. You take out the water moccasins, extract their venom, and put it in an IV that runs directly into your arm. The anti-venom is in another IV that you’ve rigged to only administer as you meet your hourly sales goals. Your friends and family members are worried about you, but you’ve never felt more alive! And it all started with the Cool-Living Adjustable Stand Up Desk!

Outcome 3

You get your Cool-Living Adjustable Stand Up Desk, and you like it. You crank it up to standing height for a few hours of the day; for the rest of the time, you use it as a normal desk. You’re neither disappointed, nor unsatisfied. It meets your needs, and you will use it for the foreseeable future.

Gosh, maybe we should’ve started with Outcome 3…