Cool Gear 17-Piece Expandable Food Storage
- Includes EZ-Freeze Expandable Bento Box, EZ-Freeze Expandable Salad Kit, and Expandable Steamer w/Tray, for a total of four Zs and four Xs
- “17 pieces” counts every lid, tray, and accessory
- “EZ-Freeze” refers to that tray with freezer gel built into it
- “Expandable” means they get big when you need 'em, little when you don’t
- BPA-free plastic and all that
- We’re frankly a little freaked out by how much people love these on Amazon
- Models: 000-01465, 000-01487, 000-01488 (that’s more zeroes than a San Diego Padres box score)
What can you say about a product like Cool Gear?
Most copywriters only have to worry about how well the product sells. Oh, they worry about awards and crap like that, but clients don’t pay for awards. Then there’s me, @JasonToon, Meh’s lead copywriter. I also have to worry about spinning word-webs so beguiling, you’ll think Meh is just too damn delightful to miss a single day regardless of how hot you are for our latest vacuum cleaner.
And that’s awesome. Dream client. Wouldn’t have it any other way… most days.
Then there’s today. We have no worries about how this Cool Gear set will sell. You guys go wild for 'em. They always do very, very well even when our copy is about something lame like what a “piece” is. They’re great at keeping your food fresh and cold, and they’re great at shifting units.
But what else am I supposed to say? Where’s the hook for a heartwarming story about a pair of eccentric loners finding each other, “two gentle lights swinging through the darkness”?
Where’s the inspiration for a deranged spume of libelous vulgarity like “You are what idiocy vomits up when it’s had too much greed to drink”?
Where’s the excuse for a lesson in pop music history, unearthing stone-cold gems like “Creep Dog” by MC Cool Rock & MC Chaszy Chess?
How am I supposed to turn this set of good-quality food storage containers into a list of stupid names or a bullshit quiz or a biographical essay or a TV semi-parody or a list of idiotic suggestions?
This Cool Gear storage set defies all of my usual crutch- er, creative strategies. It just sits there, resisting my brilliance, mocking me with its expandable bins and its lids and its gel-filled freezer tray-
Wait a minute. A freezer tray. Hmm. That’s kind of weird. Maybe I could do a list of songs with “cool” in the title. Or some ideas for things you could keep cool besides food. Or a story about a salesman trying to sell these in Alaska… yeah, an igloo-to-igloo salesman! LOL! Oh, man, the ideas are flowing now! This Cool Gear food storage set is going to be the inspiration for so many fascinating, insightful, entertaining stories!
Not today, of course. But maybe next time.
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Cool Gear 17-Piece Expandable Food Storage 62
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