Cleaning House: a Meh-rathon

The fight has reduced the bar to shattered glass and overturned tables.

ROY looks around at the DELINQUENTS on the floor. One of them lets out a robotic cough.

ROY walks to him and stands, looming over him.

ROY
I need to get to Hal. How do I contact him?

DELINQUENT 1
Oh, don’t worry. He’ll let you know where to find him.

The DELINQUENT begins laughing.

ROY
What are you talking about?

DELINQUENT 1
We knew what we signed up for, man. Money to our families, and a day of experiencing what it feels like to be a powerful machine. It was worth it.

ROY
What was worth it?

DELINQUENT 1
Being the decoys.

ROY throws him down, leaving him there as his laughs turn to coughs and eventually fade. He grabs a broom from a closet and starts sweeping up the glass.

ROY
(to himself)
No, Roy! Not now!

ROY throws down the broom and rushes out.

While wiping the work laptop of Calvert Harrison, a project manager who recently left his position at the company for a comparable role with a rival, our IT department discovered a Microsoft Word file titled ‘CLEANING_HOUSE_SCREENPLAY_FOR_JS’ as well as several Notepad documents containing phone numbers and email addresses for people with a tertiary connection to Jason Statham. The screenplay was, by all indications, written on company time and therefore, per Calvert’s contract, belongs to us. So, please enjoy these excerpts and stick around all day for great deals on spring cleaning gear and stuff for getting outside. (And Mr. Statham, if you’re reading, this is available!)