48-Pack: Trail's Best Salami Twin Packs

  • Two little salamis per pack
  • 100 calories total
  • Best by 9/17/24
  • Can it make a margarita: This is definitely more Bloody-Mary-aligned obviously
see more product specs

Meat Me

You know what’s cool about food? The part when you eat it. We don’t want to turn this space into a sounding board for hot takes, but if you ask us, eating food is one of the top five things you can do with food.

And yet, as with all seemingly great things, there’s a dark side: when you eat the food, the food goes away, so there’s no more food to eat.

What a fucking scheme, huh? Big food gets you totally hooked on food, and then it pulls the rug out from under you, revealing you as the sheep you are. Although, that’s weird, right? Why would the removal of a rug from under someone reveal anything about their sheepness? A rug over you: that makes sense! But under you? Doesn’t really compute.

Maybe it’s a rug that looks like a sheep? So if you were a sheep and you were standing on the rug, you’d blend in? And then, looking at the mirror, you’d be like, “Oh, sick, look at that rug!” Then again, does that mean you think you’re a rug in this scenario? Sounds maybe even worse than being a sheep.

Anyway, we’re gonna ditch whatever this has been and just move on.

Our point is: making yourself a nice breakfast, packing a tasty lunch for work, cooking up something special for dinner–that’s all great. But between each of those delightful points throughout your day, there are vast deserts, enormous expanses of food-less time you are expected to traverse without complaint. And if you cave and eat a meal early, it only opens a larger desert later.

So what do you do?

You buy some of these.

In each package, you get a couple little baby salamis that together amount to only 100 calories. That makes them the perfect thing to eat when you’re starting to feel a little snacksy between meals and find yourself on the verge of making a decision that could screw up your eating for the rest of the day. In other words, it’s like finding water in the between-meals desert. Although the water in this case is food? That’s, like, basically the opposite of water…

Ugh. Metaphors haven’t been our friend today. Just buy some salami, okay?

So far today...

  • 84643 of you visited.
  • 49% on a phone, 1% on a tablet.
  • 3013 clicked meh
  • on this deal.

And you bought...

  • 858 of these.
  • Deal ended .
  • That’s $22182 total.
  • (including shipping)

Who's buying this crap?

How many are you buying?