4-Pack: Poo-Pourri 2oz Holiday Scents with Gift Bags
- Spray it before you go and no one will know
- These are Christmas scents: “Secret Santa,” “Merry Spritzmas,” “Heaven Scent,” and “Lavender Vanilla”
- They come with gift bags, so you give them to the rancid poo-taker in your life
- Model: H222352 000 000, those extra zeros are for how much poop smell you’ll leave behind (none)
Here’s what we got: a 4-pack of Poo-Pourri. It’s a spray for covering crap up. Like, literally. You spray it in the bowl pre-plop and then there’s no stink when you leave.
These ones are holiday-themed. We’re talking a variety pack featuring scents like “Secret Santa,” “Merry Spritzmas,” “Heaven Scent,” and “Lavender Vanilla.” All for the purpose of keeping the smell of that deuce from getting loose. Plus they come with gift bags, in case you want the perfect present for telling that special someone: “I love you! Also, I tried to use the powder room a half hour after you were in there, and I nearly passed out.”
So, we’ve covered what you do before you squat–give the bowl a spray–and we’ve covered what you do after you go–leave the room, feeling devious and secretive about the Yule log you just flushed.
But what do you do when you’re on the pot? Other than take a crap, we mean.
Look, we all know how it goes. Especially in these times when the whole family’s home together all the time, sitting on the toilet isn’t just a final destination for the digestive process; it might be the only bit of quiet you-time you get all day. So, don’t just go and get out. You want to take a few minutes for relaxation and enrichment.
And what better way than with a good bathroom book. Now, we don’t mean some compendium of silly trivia facts. We’re talking about investing in some serious literature for a truly immersive diarrheading experience. Something like:
- Zen and the Fart of Motorcycle Maintenance
- A Room with a Poo
- Catch Number 2
- To Kill a Mockingturd
- Wipe Fang
- The Meta-more-than-piss
- or Jane, Wow, Could You Please Open The Window For A Little Fresh Eyre?
Of course, we’re not selling any of these titles today. For that, you’ll have to go to an independent bookseller like, for example, Bowell’s Books in Portland, Oregon.
But we are selling some Poo-Pourri. So buy it, give the bowl a spray, and keep the stink away.