Only bulk items in giant boxes. You can’t get a coffee and a donut, but you can get a 50 lb. bag of coffee beans and a 144-count box of donuts. And there’s a big parking lot, but it is on the other side of a busy street.
@rockblossom It should be mostly things that are impossible to use the entire package before they go bad. Like a 26 pack of baguettes, a gallon of yogurt, or 64 bananas.
@fibrs86@narfcake@sammydog01 But there are frequent sales on unlabeled “mystery boxes” which are quite popular, for reasons that baffle the sellers and the buyers can’t explain.
@rockblossom@sammydog01 I thought of Costco and Sams Club, but it’s been a decade since I’ve been in either. They don’t cater to apartment-no-car living.
@fibrs86@rockblossom Or you can buy cherry pop tarts but you also have to buy brown sugar pop tarts too and brown sugar pop tarts are gross. Wait, that’s Costco too.
@rockblossom@sammydog01 or almost nothing in the produce section has a price label, so you don’t know if a carton of strawberries is $.99 or $6. Wait, that’s Jewel-Osco.
@fibrs86 Along with no price labels on produce, there’s a section of packaged mixed nuts/dried fruit/baked things. But the ingredients are only listed in Sumerian and Tibetan.
Everything requires assembly. Your tacos? DIY. Your candy bars? You’ll have to wait for the chocolate to melt first before you can coat it. And the soda cup comes flat packed and requires an allen wrench to put together.
The store has extra employees masquerading as other shoppers whose purpose is to always stay in front of you, walking slowly down the center of the aisle so you can’t pass, get between you and the items you want to look at, grab the last piece of the one thing you needed, and then pull out a thousand coupons and start sorting through them with the cashier when you are in line.
@duodec can some people be dedicated to buying scratch off and numbered lottery tickets as if they have never done so before in their life, then scratching the ticket at the counter and exchanging the winners to restart the process?
This is a special duty that happens when a real customer is both in a hurry and has a maximum of two items. Bonus points if there’s an antsy child in tow.
@djslack@duodec Let’s not forget the guy at the ATM trying to complete a four-way saddle options trade on two different exchanges covered by derivative stop limit hedges.
(I’m not sure of the policy here on posting imgur links and I know Larson is very protective of Far Side content - mods please delete if I am in violation)
@narfcake@Targaryen Service Merchandise was WONDERFUL. They had enough example stuff out so you could see them and if you took a minute to learn how to use the Silent Sam terminals you could pre-order everything and have a MUCH shorter wait in line. Of course this was before most people had a clue about using computers (or terminals) but for several years I was able to shop, buy, and exit while others waited in line with their lists.
The only slowdowns were for firearms or for large furniture or appliance items.
@duodec@narfcake@Targaryen Service Merchandise was the one where you wrote what you wanted on a piece of paper and it came down the conveyer belt, right? That was the best. I like conveyer belts.
@duodec@narfcake@sammydog01@Targaryen wow. Service Merchandise was about 4 blocks from where I grew up. We rode our bikes to that shopping center all the time. I must never have shopped there because I didn’t know it was any different than any other big store.
It probably closed when I was in the young double digits. But the idea of that actually sounds kind of fun. Especially hacking the system and using the terminals while other people stand around.
@djslack@narfcake@sammydog01@Targaryen
It wasn’t hacking. The terminals were scattered around the store for customer use. Back then people just didn’t ‘get it’. You put in your name and the item numbers you wanted (which were verified and described), then you went to checkout and waited for them to call your name. I’m almost certain the terminal generated a printout for you to take to the pickup area also but that was just for verification; your order was already in process.
So instead of handing a list to a clerk to enter, you already entered it and waited in the pickup/pay line instead of the order line. And your stuff came down the conveyor belt.
I miss Service Merchandise. And Gemco. And Skaggs. And Woolworths/Woolco… sigh…
@duodec sorry, “hacking the system” in the way that you used the available options to most efficiently avoid the things that were hanging up everyone else trying to force a new concept to work the old way.
@RiotDemon@tightwad Ours only does appointments now. Super fast. Back when people were getting real id’s? Not super fast. BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID. Here’s my bank statement that was mailed to my address in California. That proves I’m a resident of Virginia, right?
@RiotDemon@sammydog01@tightwad
Hey, I’m getting on a flight tomorrow. Since you have to mail my Real ID, do you think the TSA can use this receipt? Can you call them to check?
@mike808@narfcake@Tadlem43
I was happy about the reboot until I read that they’re somewhat muzzling (read that as censoring) the show relative to the originals. Meh.
@duodec@mike808@Tadlem43 Considering that season 2 was only 4 episodes and seasons 3-5 were intermixed with restacks, getting 3 seasons of 13 episodes each doesn’t sound bad.
The PC-ness is inevitable. What was accepted 25+ years ago just isn’t going to work these days.
Just about any “modern” hardware store, where you have to buy a pack of twenty screws when you only need three. Or worse, the little hardware section in the grocery store, where the pack includes two other sizes you don’t need at all.
@ThunderChicken
It’s the law of Minimum Sale. It’s the same reason there is nothing in a Best Buy less than $10, with the majority over $50. It’s not worth any of the carrying costs for a sale that low.
So the solution is to either bundle/package low-priced items into a higher priced item or not carry them at all in the first place.
This also supports the “buy expensive replacement instead of low-cost DIY or even professional repair” business model. Why do you think there are no “Maytag repairmen” any more? Not because the appliances don’t break down, but because the repair costs are higher than the replace-with-new costs. They break down (choosing cheap parts, poor design for “acceptable” wear) in order to dtive sales cycles. It’s how warranty lengths are determined. It’s why there are no Oreck vacuum stores around anymore. They sold “lifetime warranties” in the product and when they inevitably needed repairs, the company folded under the cost. It wad a money-grab from the future business model with exactly one outcome.
And that, nephew and nieces, is why a $0.02 electrical fuse/part for your small appliance needs only one of costs $4.95 and only comes in a 5-pack.
@mike808@ThunderChicken That extends to online selling too. Items fulfilled by Amazon has additional costs to factor in, which is why $3 is almost like a minimum price for even the smallest of items.
@mike808@narfcake I understand it. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. As for Amazon, for a while they had a program where you could get free Prime shipping on low-priced items as long as you also ordered a qualifying item. I bought a $1 item that way. Even that program seems to be gone now.
@mike808@ThunderChicken I just buy the “stupid cheap” stuff from Amazon Warehouse. $4 for a brake rotor for the truck? $7 for a complete strut/spring/mount assembly for the car? $6 for a 5-pack of recessed lights that otherwise sells for $60+? $15 for an office chair? 4 cents for a genuine Apple USB-C adapter? 51 cents for a Samsung Qi charger? Sure, why not!
(Timing for the deals is everything there, of course. Treat it like buying an IRK but with a quantity of one.)
@ThunderChicken
FYI: Our local ACE Hardware stores still sell many nuts, bolts, screws, washers, and hundreds of other small hardware items individually. YMMV
Only bulk items in giant boxes. You can’t get a coffee and a donut, but you can get a 50 lb. bag of coffee beans and a 144-count box of donuts. And there’s a big parking lot, but it is on the other side of a busy street.
@rockblossom It should be mostly things that are impossible to use the entire package before they go bad. Like a 26 pack of baguettes, a gallon of yogurt, or 64 bananas.
@fibrs86 @rockblossom Sounds like Costco.
@fibrs86 @rockblossom @sammydog01 Only if there’s nothing labeled as to what goes where!
(FWIW, a gallon of yogurt would last me less than two weeks.)
@fibrs86 @narfcake @sammydog01 But there are frequent sales on unlabeled “mystery boxes” which are quite popular, for reasons that baffle the sellers and the buyers can’t explain.
@rockblossom @sammydog01 I thought of Costco and Sams Club, but it’s been a decade since I’ve been in either. They don’t cater to apartment-no-car living.
@fibrs86 @rockblossom Or you can buy cherry pop tarts but you also have to buy brown sugar pop tarts too and brown sugar pop tarts are gross. Wait, that’s Costco too.
@rockblossom @sammydog01 or almost nothing in the produce section has a price label, so you don’t know if a carton of strawberries is $.99 or $6. Wait, that’s Jewel-Osco.
@fibrs86 @rockblossom @sammydog01 brown sugar is good especially when warmed up.
@Targaryen No, they’re just marginally less bad when warmed up. I haven’t eaten Pop-tarts in more than two decades, and I still remember that.
@fibrs86 @rockblossom @Targaryen
@fibrs86 @rockblossom @sammydog01 @Targaryen i think that brown sugar is the best poptart
@rockblossom @sagergen @sammydog01 @Targaryen I propose a Tartmates.com site so people can split and share their variety packs of Pop-tarts procured at Costco and similar inconvenience stores.
I just checked my made up URL. I was worried that it would direct somewhere unsavory.
@fibrs86 Well, Pop-tarts are usually sweet, rather than salty or spicy, so they are unsavory by definition.
Amazing that the URL didn’t lead to some flavor of breakfast pastry porn, though.
@fibrs86 Along with no price labels on produce, there’s a section of packaged mixed nuts/dried fruit/baked things. But the ingredients are only listed in Sumerian and Tibetan.
Things that need batteries but no batteries. Especially toys.
@sammydog01 Plenty of batteries as well, but in other sizes
@sammydog01 @tightwad Or only boxes of 1000 batteries in mixed sizes, but none of them the ones you actually need.
The gas pumps out front are actually just those air pumps. $1 a minute, only dollar bills accepted
@DoctorOW Maybe they could add a gas pump that only sells gas in 10-gallon increments.
Everything requires assembly. Your tacos? DIY. Your candy bars? You’ll have to wait for the chocolate to melt first before you can coat it. And the soda cup comes flat packed and requires an allen wrench to put together.
Oh, and all instructions are via cryptic images.
@narfcake So, Ikea.
@PocketBrain That was exactly what I was referencing. I do give them plenty of credit that they even managed to flatpack sofas.
The store has extra employees masquerading as other shoppers whose purpose is to always stay in front of you, walking slowly down the center of the aisle so you can’t pass, get between you and the items you want to look at, grab the last piece of the one thing you needed, and then pull out a thousand coupons and start sorting through them with the cashier when you are in line.
aka the grocery store on ‘certain days’.
@duodec can some people be dedicated to buying scratch off and numbered lottery tickets as if they have never done so before in their life, then scratching the ticket at the counter and exchanging the winners to restart the process?
This is a special duty that happens when a real customer is both in a hurry and has a maximum of two items. Bonus points if there’s an antsy child in tow.
@djslack @duodec Let’s not forget the guy at the ATM trying to complete a four-way saddle options trade on two different exchanges covered by derivative stop limit hedges.
Going with the video theme… electric base toothbrushes with no toothbrush heads!
(I’m not sure of the policy here on posting imgur links and I know Larson is very protective of Far Side content - mods please delete if I am in violation)
@DrWorm Heh I’ve never seen this.
@DrWorm @Targaryen
a classic!
The Inconvenience Store
/giphy walmart
Million Dollar General
Dysfunctional Family Dollar
@ThunderChicken “Dysfunctional Family Dollar” is an oxymoron
@tightwad It’s redundant. And besides that, it repeats itself and says the same thing twice.
How about they sell everything behind locked doors that require an associate with a key, and there is only one associate.
@Targaryen In other words, the old “catalog showrooms” like BEST and Service Merchandise back in the days.
@narfcake @Targaryen Service Merchandise was WONDERFUL. They had enough example stuff out so you could see them and if you took a minute to learn how to use the Silent Sam terminals you could pre-order everything and have a MUCH shorter wait in line. Of course this was before most people had a clue about using computers (or terminals) but for several years I was able to shop, buy, and exit while others waited in line with their lists.
The only slowdowns were for firearms or for large furniture or appliance items.
@duodec @narfcake @Targaryen Service Merchandise was the one where you wrote what you wanted on a piece of paper and it came down the conveyer belt, right? That was the best. I like conveyer belts.
@duodec @narfcake @sammydog01 @Targaryen wow. Service Merchandise was about 4 blocks from where I grew up. We rode our bikes to that shopping center all the time. I must never have shopped there because I didn’t know it was any different than any other big store.
It probably closed when I was in the young double digits. But the idea of that actually sounds kind of fun. Especially hacking the system and using the terminals while other people stand around.
@djslack @narfcake @sammydog01 @Targaryen
It wasn’t hacking. The terminals were scattered around the store for customer use. Back then people just didn’t ‘get it’. You put in your name and the item numbers you wanted (which were verified and described), then you went to checkout and waited for them to call your name. I’m almost certain the terminal generated a printout for you to take to the pickup area also but that was just for verification; your order was already in process.
So instead of handing a list to a clerk to enter, you already entered it and waited in the pickup/pay line instead of the order line. And your stuff came down the conveyor belt.
I miss Service Merchandise. And Gemco. And Skaggs. And Woolworths/Woolco… sigh…
@duodec sorry, “hacking the system” in the way that you used the available options to most efficiently avoid the things that were hanging up everyone else trying to force a new concept to work the old way.
@narfcake Service Merch was GREAT! I miss them. I used to by stuff to resell there.
I believe the DMV is the prime example actually…
@tightwad I am blessed. My local DMV is awesome. Usually in and out in 15 minutes with no appointment.
POPSOCKETS! ROAD ROCKETS! SONNY CROCKETT! AWESOME!
@RiotDemon @tightwad Ours only does appointments now. Super fast. Back when people were getting real id’s? Not super fast. BECAUSE PEOPLE ARE STUPID. Here’s my bank statement that was mailed to my address in California. That proves I’m a resident of Virginia, right?
@RiotDemon @sammydog01 @tightwad
Hey, I’m getting on a flight tomorrow. Since you have to mail my Real ID, do you think the TSA can use this receipt? Can you call them to check?
They accept only Pennies as payment.
@PocketBrain Or half-pennies.
@PocketBrain @ThunderChicken They return only pennies as change.
@ThunderChicken funny you should mention…
@PocketBrain Do you have a ha’-penny story?
@PocketBrain @ThunderChicken
@duodec @PocketBrain I’ll see your ha’penny and raise you half a sixpence.
@duodec Animaniacs were the BEST!
@duodec @Tadlem43 I still haven’t watched any of the reboot episodes yet.
@duodec @narfcake @Tadlem43
Apparently 3 seasons is all the reboot will get.
@mike808 @narfcake @Tadlem43
I was happy about the reboot until I read that they’re somewhat muzzling (read that as censoring) the show relative to the originals. Meh.
@duodec @mike808 @Tadlem43 Considering that season 2 was only 4 episodes and seasons 3-5 were intermixed with restacks, getting 3 seasons of 13 episodes each doesn’t sound bad.
The PC-ness is inevitable. What was accepted 25+ years ago just isn’t going to work these days.
(Damn, I
feelam old!)@duodec @narfcake @Tadlem43
Agree. Just watch any Mel Brooks film for proof. Or The Dave Chapelle Show. I’m sure there has been offensive comedy since the dawn of society.
@mike808 “In Living Color” and “Married With Children” would be other good examples.
Just about any “modern” hardware store, where you have to buy a pack of twenty screws when you only need three. Or worse, the little hardware section in the grocery store, where the pack includes two other sizes you don’t need at all.
@ThunderChicken
It’s the law of Minimum Sale. It’s the same reason there is nothing in a Best Buy less than $10, with the majority over $50. It’s not worth any of the carrying costs for a sale that low.
So the solution is to either bundle/package low-priced items into a higher priced item or not carry them at all in the first place.
This also supports the “buy expensive replacement instead of low-cost DIY or even professional repair” business model. Why do you think there are no “Maytag repairmen” any more? Not because the appliances don’t break down, but because the repair costs are higher than the replace-with-new costs. They break down (choosing cheap parts, poor design for “acceptable” wear) in order to dtive sales cycles. It’s how warranty lengths are determined. It’s why there are no Oreck vacuum stores around anymore. They sold “lifetime warranties” in the product and when they inevitably needed repairs, the company folded under the cost. It wad a money-grab from the future business model with exactly one outcome.
And that, nephew and nieces, is why a $0.02 electrical fuse/part for your small appliance needs only one of costs $4.95 and only comes in a 5-pack.
@mike808 @ThunderChicken That extends to online selling too. Items fulfilled by Amazon has additional costs to factor in, which is why $3 is almost like a minimum price for even the smallest of items.
https://sellercentral.amazon.com/gp/help/external/201112670?language=en-US
@mike808 @narfcake I understand it. Doesn’t mean I have to like it. As for Amazon, for a while they had a program where you could get free Prime shipping on low-priced items as long as you also ordered a qualifying item. I bought a $1 item that way. Even that program seems to be gone now.
@mike808 @ThunderChicken I just buy the “stupid cheap” stuff from Amazon Warehouse. $4 for a brake rotor for the truck? $7 for a complete strut/spring/mount assembly for the car? $6 for a 5-pack of recessed lights that otherwise sells for $60+? $15 for an office chair? 4 cents for a genuine Apple USB-C adapter? 51 cents for a Samsung Qi charger? Sure, why not!
(Timing for the deals is everything there, of course. Treat it like buying an IRK but with a quantity of one.)
@ThunderChicken
FYI: Our local ACE Hardware stores still sell many nuts, bolts, screws, washers, and hundreds of other small hardware items individually. YMMV
Bags of chips, but each chip is individually wrapped.
@Targaryen Like this?
/image Chip Challenge
@mike808 Exactly.
@mike808 @Targaryen How is this different than just sticking a red hot fireplace poker in your mouth?
KuoH
@kuoh @mike808 flavor?
@kuoh @Targaryen
Tastes like Carolina Reaper.