4-Pack of Star Wars Jedi and Sith Apprentice Lightsabers

  • You get 4 lightsabers
  • That is a lot lightsabers, potentially you’ll have some dual wielding going on
  • You can flick them open and press buttons to make them light up
  • Won’t arrive by Christmas, but what is time anymore?
  • Model: 5483R-TH3-PR3C10U5-M0M3NT5
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Apprenticeships Open

These things are neat. They’re fun, extendable toy lightsabers that light up at the press of the button. In other words, they’d be great Christmas gifts for your kids.

The only problem: they definitely won’t arrive by Christmas.

But, look, it’s been a long year. Your kids are attending school on Zoom. A lot of the fun stuff they look forward to is cancelled. They’re going stir crazy just like you, the only difference being they have kid brains that lack the cognitive skills to even begin to reason through our current historical moment.

Which is all to say, wouldn’t this be the perfect year to give a little week-or-two-after-Christmas gift? We think so.

But we do need to make one thing clear. These are apprentice lightsaber toys. They’re not the same lightsabers used by the pros of the IBA (Intergalactic Basketball Association). You know, we’re talking about that league full of real household names such as:

  • Luka Skywalker
  • Jruebacca Holiday
  • Rey Allen
  • Droid Hibbert
  • Porgui Dieng
  • Jedi Osman
  • Kawhi Leianord
  • Kylo Korver
  • Obi-Wan Kenobi Toppin
  • Karl-Anthony Towns Anthony Towns (known as KAT-AT)

Although, just because they’re toys doesn’t mean tempers among your little laser sword fighters won’t flare. You’ll almost certainly have to play the role of rule enforcer and peacekeeper at some point. You know, kind of like former IBA referee Steve Jabba-ie used to do before becoming a replay-review consultant for the broadcast team.

Okay, that last one will only be appreciated by the real nerds. To the rest of you, we are so sorry.

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