Beginning of the End?

First of all, to state the obvious, we’re all doomed.

See? You don’t even know the topic yet but you already agree.

We’re supposed to be talking about smart tech here, though, so we’ll steer away from the generalized doom and lean into the tech-focused doom. Don’t worry, though. We’re not trying to paint a dystopian picture of an AI-fueled dystopia patrolled by menacing cyborgs stomping out the last of humanity’s dwindling resistance. Instead we’re just going to assume the logical outcome of our present tech trajectory and safely assume that the future is going to be very similar to now, just way, WAY more annoying.

Because we’re about two years away from it being actually impossible to bring anything to market with some sort of AI selling point. Investors won’t want anything to do with any idea that doesn’t have some hallucinating machine learning model running in the background.

Coffee maker? Doomed. Car? Also doomed. Your next phone? Don’t even bother. It’s going to steal your data to create better marketing that convinces you to buy other products that will steal your data even harder. (So, you know…super doomed.)

Your only hope is going to be cruising the city dump and/or thrift stores and/or grandma’s house to find the refreshingly dumb versions of things we once took for granted, like a TV that doesn’t stare at you and eavesdrop on your conversations or a refrigerator that doesn’t need a wifi connection…all because the tech-buying public collectively prioritizes convenience over privacy and simplicity.

Oh well. If that ship hasn’t sailed already, it’s going to be by the time you finish reading this.

So on to the pitch: smart plugs!

Not because we necessarily want to embrace the smart tech that we just said was going to doom humankind, but because you should be able to use a smart feature or two without having to give in to the smart product revolution entirely.

These things will let you put a smart spin on otherwise basic items, like giving you remote control of your lamps or putting your fans on a daily schedule that you don’t have to think about.

This is pretty great, if you think about it. You don’t have to buy up a bunch of the latest gadgets, each of which will have their own ecosystem and its own proprietary login or whatever. Instead you have just one source of smartness and you can plug in whatever you want.

What do you think? Plausible? Reasonable? A watered-down solution that will only further ease us down the road of technological ruin. Let us know in the comments!