Letters from the Mehditor

Our regular writers being exhausted from justifying every product we sell as “the perfect gift,” we hired a freelancer to write the entire Meh-rathon. But out of spite or laziness or insanity he instead wrote letters to random companies and people. While we lawyer-up and sue said writer for breach of contract, we hope you enjoy his delirious epistles. Meh regrets the error.

TO: Mailer Daemon@yahoo.com
SUBJ: Repent

Dear Cursed Being,

I hope this finds you well, or perhaps foul if that is your preferred state of being. I am writing with no nobler goal than the salvation of your immortal soul. I implore you to reconsider your devotion to darkness and suffering and evil.

And electronic mail delivery.

I know not how this vile fate befell you. Perhaps an ill-advised Faustian bargain to ensure the delivery of an important missive. Perhaps only the most cursory of glances at a Terms of Service Agreement, that tiny checkmark etched in digital stone. Perhaps a cursed email attachment.

The cause is unimportant, for no matter what led you here I truly believe yours is a soul worth saving. And please stop returning my emails to Daryl Hall. I have a can’t miss idea for his next hit and he’ll be most upset if he does not receive it.

Sincerely,

Meh