[Domestic Subterfuge] Where do you hide your stash?
4Sometimes you just want a box of Cocoa Pebbles without the kids/spouse getting wise. This week we discovered how perfectly the smaller Pebbles bag fits into the larger Saltines box.
How do you guys hide the good stuff from would-be usurpers?
- 8 comments, 26 replies
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Sure, “Cocoa Pebbles” is what I stash…
@Thumperchick When I was a kid I found my mom’s mushrooms and then three hours later I found my mom’s unicorn.
@jouest

/giphy unicorn sparkle
@jouest @Thumperchick
Rainbows and Unicorns can be everywhere.
Even all over here!
It’s just the two of us, so I don’t hide anything, except her presents which either stay in my car, or go to the barn or basement. She hides mine at her brother’s house.
@PhysAssist the car is a good move.
@jouest
Nowhere in the house would be safe…
Nothing is hidden. Presents maybe, but I just hide in side table or in boxes. My wife isn’t the kind to rummage through them and ruin her surprise.
I don’t do any drugs… I’m just naturally like this. If I want to hide something from the kids,.I just put the item.where it belongs.
If the kids ever went through our side tables, they might be traumatized for life… I just assume they won’t.
@OnionSoup oh hey. It’s me. A grown adult who remains sufficiently traumatized by rummaging in my parents’ side tables in 1990.
@jouest my parents either had no sex life during my childhood, or were really good at completely hiding it.
@jouest @OnionSoup WHAT DID YOU FIND IN THERE?! How are babies made?
@jouest @OnionSoup You sure it isn’t just selective amnesia from the trauma of what you actually did see?
KuoH
@garrick52 @jouest
ingredients
Units: US
3⁄4
cup milk
1⁄2
cup unbleached all-purpose flour
2
large eggs
1 1⁄2
tablespoons sugar
1⁄2
teaspoon pure vanilla extract
3
tablespoons unsalted butter
1
tablespoon confectioners’ sugar
https://www.food.com/recipe/dutch-baby-74146
At least, that’s how Dutch babies are made…
@garrick52 @jouest @OnionSoup Do you cook them in a Dutch oven?
Nobody thought of under the toilet lid? I must be a genius! It does sometimes come out a bit soggy, but I tend to prefer it that way over crispy, since the noise can also cause some suspicion.
KuoH
Don’t hide anything anymore
well, i’m old, i forget sometimes where something is, is that the same thing?
/showme a forgetful goddess
@Cerridwyn it’s a gift you give yourself…later.
Nothing to hide as I live alone. I do have to hide 2 of my 4 cats from the current manager (wasn’t an issue before that). i hide them at someone else’s house for inspection day.
@Kidsandliz in college we had an illegal dorm cat who had to ride around in a duffel bag on inspection day. that furry orange sucker lived another 15 years in a proper house after that, though.
@jouest @Kidsandliz Dorm cat - I love that. I have hide things from my cat, sometimes. Luckily that’s not too hard.
@jouest @Kyeh
Me too. Tigger adores chewing on the lightening end of phone cords (he also chews on other things as well - he loves to chew on things. First cat I’ve had who is a chewer). He finally figured out how to open the drawer I kept them in to keep him from chewing them. Now I keep them in a dresser drawer as those drawers are too heavy for him to open.
@Kidsandliz @Kyeh I once had a car who would only eat genuine Apple cords. Expensive habit. My wife sewed sleeves for the MacBook cords (at $60 a pop or whatever).
@jouest @Kidsandliz
I had 2 lizards in my sophomore year [a savannah monitor and a plated lizard], but traded them for a 3- foot long boa constrictor in my junior year. She was about 5.5-feet long when I sold her in preparation for going to Navy OCS after graduating.
Weirdly, no one had much at all to say about the lizards but they freaked the-F out about the snek.
It probably didn’t help that I was an RA* in my junior year. [*resident assistant]
@jouest @PhysAssist Not my lizard (belonged to a friend watching my cats). If you look closely my cat is settled and sleeping across the lizard’s tail. I can’t imagine how that was comfortable for my cat. Lizard must have liked the heat though.
That cat is now 14 (she was around 10ish in that photo). I got her at 6 weeks old. Someone had dumped her on the highway, it was pouring rain, she was in the median strip up against the cement on a bridge. I pulled the car over, walked back to get her, was honked at a bunch. She was hypothermic which is likely why I could catch her as it took her a couple of hours to calm down once she warmed up. She was a scared little baby. Had her at work all day (had been on my way to work). Fortunately I didn’t get in trouble for that.

@jouest My sophomore year my roommate had a cat. Not sure if it was illegal or not. The resident assistant never made a comment. We easily could have been caught as she hung out in the window and the cafeteria was in our building so could have been seen by people coming and going. That was a sweet little kitty. She kept her her entire collage career and took her with her to law school so I doubt she was abandoned.
One of my current cats someone dumped on campus about a week prior to graduation. She had been abused, had missing teeth where the roots were infected and several bone chips loose in her jaw. Took her 2 years before I could pet her from the front without her flinching and if I tripped over her she’d hid for the rest of the day. Made me want to torture whomever tortured this cat. She is now the biggest love bug ever.

@Kidsandliz I’m digging all the clandestine pet stories
@Kidsandliz Last place I lived had an HOA that specified a maximum of two pets. We had 2 dogs, 3 rats, and 6 cats at one point.
Fortunately HOA would never be any-the-wiser. (and I knew many other people with more than two pets- 2 doors up had four dogs that you could easily see through the fence at times).
Before that briefly lived in an apartment that only allowed two pets too (we only had 4 cats then though… if a maintenance person had to come by, two cats would be smuggled off to a friend’s house for the day.
@jouest @Kidsandliz
I was a “Freshman Advisor” in my sophomore year. Basically a Resident-Assistant-Light. We didn’t have the enforcement abilities, but were placed on Freshman halls for freshmen to have a “non-authority” to talk to and advise. The RA on my hall was a close friend of mine we used to play juvenile jokes on each other. For his birthday I got him a “Where’s Waldo book”, only being the juvenile I was, I put “dildo-stickers” on each page and modified the title to “Where’s Dildo”. I came back to my apartment on my birthday and there was this giant 2ft Dildo on my bed with a note attached to it saying “Here’s Dildo”.
Needless to say, I drew a face on it, named it Denby, and dressed it up for the seasons. I have lots of Denby stories to tell another day…
I used to put it in my window looking outside. One day the RA (they guy who gave it to me) came into my dorm room laughing- apparently he had just got off the phone with a very angry head-of-housing who had seen Denby in the window and demanded it come down. Apparently the phone call went something like:
-There’s a thing in one of your hall’s windows.
-A thing? (he immediately knew exactly what it was he had seen me place it there- but was playing dumb)
-A device.
-A device? (still playing innocent)
-An adult device.
-Sorry?
-A dildo
-What’s a dildo?
-An adult device… a sex toy.
-In one of the windows on my hall? Are you sure?
Head of housing thought it was in my nextdoor neighbours room (frequently in trouble) or I’m sure I would have been the one getting the call. How the RA managed to have that call without cracking-up I don’t know.
@jouest @Kidsandliz @OnionSoup
Too funny!
Thank you for sharing!
Some stashes are too good to hide


@phendrick they don’t make them like this anymore
The female of the species is always complaining that I buy calorific stuff and orders me to hide it. As she never goes up to the third floor the head of the stairs would be probably be the perfect place, except that after a long day she often demands it so it’s easier to just toss it to the back top of the kitchen cabinets, which don’t go all the way to the ceiling for unclear reasons. Things aren’t visible there, though, so you do have to put up a step ladder and check from time to time. The good news is, no bugs and no mice!!
@aetris this is the way