Too late It’s over

2-Pack: Men's or Women's Sherpa Lined Heavyweight Fleece Hoodies

Two heavyweight hoodies in our choice of colors
Sherpa lining, serious zippers, handy pockets
Did we mention that we pick the colors?
Each pair will be two different colors
Of course if you buy more 2-packs you might get some of the same colors
Men’s standard fit size chart
Women’s loose fit size chart
Model: CH005E-TH3-V01D

see more product specs

Let Go

This is the kind of deal that distinguishes the strong from the weak. The bold from the meek. The weekend from the week.

This is a special deal.

A lazily discounted hooded sweatshirt is not a special deal, even if you get two. It would barely be worthy of meh.com. (And we’ve worked pretty hard to establish that almost nothing is unworthy of meh.com.)

But yeah, you can find a discounted hooded sweatshirt at any lame department store. What you won’t find at any lame department store is a devil’s bargain like this, where you relinquish your own free will by letting us choose the colors of your two hoodies while you blissfully succumb to the infinite embrace of the unknown.

That’s right. You pay the money. We pick the colors.

Somewhere Soren Kierkegaard is rolling in his grave, screaming that while all of you reading this understand the mechanics of this deal, almost none appreciate the terrifying gravity of its implications.

Like Ed Norton’s disenchanted protagonist enduring a lye burn administered by his fashion-forward alter ego while a generation of dude-bros nod importantly…YOU MUST LET GO.

Forget who you are. Forget your favorite color. Leave behind any notions of whether it’ll be weird to have two of the same hoodies in different colors working through the laundry rotation. WE SAID LET GO.

You can be liberated from the confines of fashion and thrift only by abandoning the pretense of having an opinion on which wavelengths of light happen to bounce off of the fabric protecting your pathetic hairless monkey flesh against the elements.

HAVE YOU LET GO YET?

Because if there are still any of these in stock, it means too many of you continue to cling to the desperate pretenses that maintain the horrifying inequities of the global status quo. We’d all be controlling our flying personal runabouts with our minds by now if only we could collectively get past nonsense like the colors of hoodies.

So be bold. Be free. Make questionable choices like betting your company’s potential hoodie profits on dated references to Brad Pitt movies and even more dated references to nineteenth-century philosophy.

Or just dive in for the joy of cozy synthetic linings and kangaroo pockets. Your call.

2-Pack: Men's or Women's Sherpa Lined Heavyweight Fleece Hoodies

Let Go

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