2-Pack: Clean Reach Extendable Scrubbers with Replacement Pads

  • You don’t have to lean over
  • You don’t have to stand on a chair
  • You can just clean
  • And when you’re done, it’s easy to rinse them off
  • And when they wear out, there are replacement pads
  • Model: CLR001DR, which looks like it’s a number-word, but it’s actually just the model number
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Ghastly Comfort VII

Dearest Mother,

It has been some time since our last correspondence and for that I must apologize. I have just been so busy maintaining this inn atop a cliff overlooking a forever tumultuous sea which itself reflects an always gray sky.

The reason for my busyness, I am afraid, is an issue of retention. In just the past three months I have gone through eight housekeepers! Each one has gotten off to a great start only to resign after being given the simple task of polishing a beautiful set of silverware that I found under a loose floorboard in the grand suite on the third floor. Six of them would not tell me why. The other two spoke hysterically about some wickedness reflected in a butter knife.

I tried to offload the task onto Hugo, but he refuses, claiming the set belongs to someone he refers to only as “the stained maiden,” and we would, he says, be better off returning them to where I found them. Can you believe that? A beautiful set of silverware and Hugo wants to keep them hidden under the floor! Such a strange man, he is!

And I have no time to polish them myself, as I have been too busy cleaning the rest of the inn. You see, the turnover in the help could not come at a worse time, as we seem to have some sort of spider infestation. Though I have not seen any, I know no other way of explaining the strange webs hanging from the ceiling in the corner of each room. (Hugo claims it is not spiders at all but rather “the stained maiden’s hair,” which she sheds everywhere she goes, looking for her favorite spoon, with which she will “devour one’s soul as if it were sweet porridge.” I do not know where he gets this stuff!)

Fortunately, so as to avoid absolute embarrassment, I was able to clean the rooms before the photographer came to take pictures for an updated brochure. This is in no small part thanks to the Clean Reach Extendable Scrubbers you sent me! With them, I was able to remove those strange webs–which did feel somewhat like a woman’s gray hair–without having to stand dangerously atop a chair or table!

But, as in keeping with my luck (or lack thereof) these days, it was for naught. The photographer sent me the pictures this morning and they are all covered in strange bright spots and thus entirely unusable.

Oh well, at least the rooms are clean for the next guest. Perhaps you might finally make it up soon, mother?

Miranda Prillchisky
The Dread Inn at Death Rock

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