That's So Random

The fact that we’re selling a 2-pack of velvet plush throw blankets is random. The fact that they’re a random assortments of colors and styles is extra random. But do you know what’s more random than any of this? Everything in Japan.

Meh writer @skemmehs here corresponding from the great city of Osaka for a second installment of Weird Crap From Japan. Check that link if you missed the 3-Reddit-upvote-garnering first installment, where I visited Japan’s “Don Quixote” megastore and found some … compelling products.

Today I want to focus on food, specifically snacks. Nobody snacks like the Japanese. Even the tiniest, grungiest 7-11 will be stocked with snacks that would put any American equivalent to seppuku-inducing shame.

You’ve got your “Cup Noodle” aisle…

With its many indecipherable marketing tie-ins. Who’s ready for some cat soup?

Or maybe a simple Cup-O-Bivalves?

You’ve got your “Snack Sticks” aisle with infinite variations of “Pretz” and of course “Pocky.”

Snoopy is real big here. Not Peanuts — just Snoopy. And who is that silhouetted feline in the lower left? Which famous character from Charles Shultz’s beloved strip is visiting Snoopy from the land of ghosts? It’s …

This … cat. Who is that? Oh well – nom nom nom.

Of course, if you’re feeling homesick you can always find your favorite American brands.

Like Mt. RAINIER, whose ubiquity now spreads to every corner of the globe.

Or the classic children’s cereal ChocoFlakes. We all remember those commercials and the animated Tiger-god’s catchphrase, “They’re grrrrreeen!”

All joking aside, I did find one snack at a local coffee shop that has changed the course of my life forever. Behold:

It’s so simple and obvious. And so very delicious. Can you imagine anything better on a rainy spring day than wrapping yourself in a randomly-colored velvet throw and eating a goddamn strawberry whipped cream sandwich??