2-for-Tuesday: Ivy USB Port LED Desk Lamps
- Two desk lamps, for both of your desks. You haven’t heard? Double-desks are the new standing-desk
- Built-in USB charging port a simple but surprisingly useful feature
- Just to be clear, you plug these lamps in (to an outlet), they can charge USB things from their USB port
- High-efficiency LED bulbs should last 25,000+ hours or roughly “a long time”
- Flexible neck lets you point it right in the face of the scumbag you’re interrogating about the whereabouts of Ms. Aileen Combs
- Model: IVY-40WT (Does this model number actually supply information that was otherwise unavailable (that this is equivalent to 40 Watts)? Proof that you should always check the model number – you might learn something roughly 1/1000th of the time)
To USB Or Not To USB? (Spoiler: To USB)
The only notable feature of these desk lamps — other than the price – is their built-in USB ports. Hardly revolutionary, but it’s surprisingly nice to always have a desk-level charging port.
Really, though, this shouldn’t be notable. Every desktop or countertop appliance in 2017 should come with a USB port. They probably cost $0.30 to add, and the proverbial no-one-ever said “I wish this this thing didn’t have that USB port.”
Every clock. Every TV. Every tea kettle. Every food dehydrator. Everything should have these universal serial bus ports.
While we’re berating product designers, here are some other standard features we’d like to see in 2018:
- Monogramming. Screw towels, we want our initials emblazoned on yoga mats, charging cables, Greek yogurt, and anything else the ownership of which gets mixed up. “Oh, sorry, was that your Chobani?” “Yes, as evinced by my initials are on the lid.”
- Cinnamon Toast Crunch Scenting. Nuff said, really. Never have we smelled a product we were selling and wished it smelled less like the world’s premiere breakfast cereal.
- Assumed BPA-Free Unless Otherwise Mentioned. Plastic products are still slapping “BPA FREE” on their packaging, taking up valuable space for communicating other features, such as Cinnamon Toast Crunch Scenting. Let’s all agree that we’ll just assume something is BPA free unless explicitly mentioned, mmk?
- Gudetama Integration. I’m writing this from Japan, and everything — everything — is available with that sad little egg man. We can’t fall behind on this important economic opportunity.
- Blind Boxes. Both Funkos and Fukus exemplify how fun it is to buy something when you don’t know exactly what you’re going to get. But why is this experience limited to vinyl figurines and Japanese mystery bags? It could work just as well for kitchenware, clothing, and sandwiches.
- USB-C Ports. Oh right, everything might switch to USB-C eventually. Maybe that’s why these are so cheap. Hmm …
You tell us: Whattaya wish came standard on more products?
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2-for-Tuesday: Ivy USB Port LED Desk Lamps 139
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Three Things You've NEVER HEARD About Tyne Daly - Showbiz Corner 8
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Favorite sweet cereal other than Cinnamon Toast Crunch? 156
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Damn 2 30 -
Kids bath toy... 9 -
Came home to this on the kitchen table. 30 -
Helpful training for our future AI overlords 29 -
[unofficial poll] 18